Blind Date: Take Three

Well, folks, I did it. I went on my third blind date of the year. When you get to be an "old maid" in the dating world, people are just dying to set you up. Sometimes being set up on a blind date by a mutual friend can actually be pretty successful...or not (see early posts about blind dates). This time, my friend, who joined the church about a year ago, wanted to set me up with one of the missionaries who taught her. Of course she is going to think the best of this guy no matter what, but once again, I figured it was worth a shot.
When I heard this boy was asking about me, I asked my friend what he thought about this whole situation.
"He's not thinking this is eternity material, right? I mean, it's one date," I said.
"Of course not," she responded. "Well, you never know..."
Great.
My friend and I decided to invite over the guy, who we'll call Spencer, for Sunday dinner. He also brought a friend, who we'll call Eddie, to set up with my friend. She was worried that Eddie would look like Shrek, although I suggested that maybe he looked like Shrek AFTER he turned human.
As we were concocting chicken and rice and salad, I looked out the window to see two dapper young gentlemen walking up to the door. They looked so cute and return-missionary-like...because they'd both just returned from their missions a month earlier. Yes, this means that Spencer was about THREE YEARS YOUNGER than me! I guess once you get to be a ripe old age, that doesn't matter as much, in fact, I have heard of many a couple that has about 10 years between them. Still, it's hard to go on a date with someone about the age of my younger brother. Besides that point, I was excited that Eddie was sporting a BYU shirt and they were both smiling with that good old return missionary spirit.
Spencer was indeed very nice and easy to talk to. Since he served his mission where I grew up, we found that we knew a lot of the same people. There were only a couple awkward silences as we conversed over our delicious dinner.
After dinner, we decided to watch "The Best Two Years," which is a movie about missionaries, so of course Spencer and Eddie would pick that to watch. Oh well. The situation got a bit awkward when we found that there was only one couch, so we all had to squeeze onto it until we were practically sitting in each other's laps.
After the movie, we made s'mores in the microwave. Then we said goodbye to Spencer and Eddie at the door, which was weird because the whole thing was more like a group activity than a date, and was probably the first "date" they had been on since being back from their missions. Spencer gave me an awkward hug goodbye and they left.
Then my friend immediately exclaimed, "He's not Shrek-like at all! He's soooo cute!" One minute later, they knocked on the door again. They forgot something.
Well, that's that. The third blind date...a mild success. Fun, but probably not eternity material. Fourth, anyone?

The Saga of Rob

I've hesitated writing this post for quite some time, because the situation is still a bit awkward and confusing. But also pretty much over. So I noticed in the last post I wrote about dancing with my friend Rob. Well, after the dance, things pretty much took off from there...maybe took off isn't exactly the right phrase, since they took off and then crash landed.
But anyway...so after our evening, Rob sat next to me at a church meeting and was firing compliments at me left and right. Which was weird, but made me think that I may actually have feelings for him. Shortly after that we were both at a dance class. Since as I mentioned Rob is a great dancer and fun to dance with, we kept gravitating toward each other as partners. After the class, they kept playing music and Rob just grabbed my hands and we started to dance some more. Everyone in the class left except for us as we continued to dance. Romantic, right? Maybe.
I started asking Rob to do things with me, because that's what you're supposed to do to subtley pursue someone. I went over to his apartment quite a bit and he taught me new songs on guitar. Well, the problem was that Rob wasn't initiating any activities. And then he started to act weird around me. I'm pretty sure I wasn't imagining his interest at the beginning, but perhaps he realized that his feelings were reciprocated, which as an inexperienced dater kind of freaked him out and he backed off. As I got to know Rob better, though I still appreciated our friendship, I decided that actually I probably didn't want to date him. We just weren't on the same page with some things.
So I swore off Rob, went out of town, and didn't think about him anymore. Alas, now that I'm back he is back to flirty Rob again. But I already made my decision that he's not right for me. The whole situation just leaves me a bit annoyed and confused. And still VL.

End of Semester and Still VL

It's been two months since any of us has posted on this blog. Whoops. Who knows if anyone will actually read this post, but I thought I'd update you anyway.
Well, there's only 3 days left of finals and then we're out of this semester. Unless something completely crazy happens in the next few days, NONE of us are exiting the VLC this year. Who could have predicted such a tragic end?! Although I guess we can continue this storyline for a while longer to see if someone does in fact exit the VLC in the next year or so. Let's hope what's to come isn't as tragic as what has come.
I have very meager updates in my dating life, but I will tell you what I do have:
Last weekend there was (you guessed it) yet another ward set-up date. The setting up process was a little sketchy this time. They had us all fill out a survey with questions such as:
-What is your favorite type of music? and
-What is your favorite color?
Then they paired us up based on compatibility of answers. I have no idea how anyone thought this could somehow find us a super-compatable person. I can just picture a guy and a girl on a date:
"Oh, your favorite color is green, too? We're PERFECT for each other!"
Anyway, I was paired up with Richard, the resident computer expert. (Anytime we have a computer glitch, we call on Richard's "touch of the master's hands" to fix our computers.) So of course I suggested that Richard and I dress as a mac and a PC. And of course, I was the mac.
I taped Mac signs all over me and put a paintbrust behind my ears, while Richard did the same with PC signs and a pocket protector. The ward date consisted of food, playing games, and dancing to live band music. It was actually pretty fun. The couples included:
Beauty and the beast
Salt and pepper
Shrek and fiona
Katniss and Peeta
Tom Hanks and Wilson (Kylie and her date)
So that is that. The next ward set-up date, which did not result in a single "compatible" couple, as far as I know.
Then the next day, I was at a service activity on campus, when I noticed some swing dancing going on. I started dancing with my friend Rob, and he taught me some sweet swing dance moves. He asked how I got in and if I paid for it, and I was like "whooops...," until he informed me that he could bring a guest and it was fine. Afterwards we went back to his apartment to play instruments and sing. He is very musically talented. So that was an interesting occurance.
Well, it's time for the end of the semester, and the end of all of school for me. I'm graduating! Perhaps this will bring me new opportunities in dating. One can only hope.

Extra! Extra! BYU Professor Reveals Results of Provo Dating Study

Provo, Utah is known for its obsession about dating matters, and for good reason. When you stick a group of thousands of Latter-day Saint (Mormon) young adults together who are all trying to get married, you can expect to hear about dating.

Being surrounded by dating talk, I was instantly curious when I heard about a dating lecture that would take place on campus. Professor Holman was to reveal his exclusive results from a study he conducted on Provo dating life.

I sat in a crowded room at the Joseph F. Smith Humanities Building at Brigham Young University, awaiting Professor Holman’s lecture. I nervously sat in the back of the crowded lecture hall, not wanting to be seen in such a laughter-inspiring situation. As I sat, I watched dozens of people enter the room: couples holding hands, groups of girls, and even some curious guys. I overheard a married couple in front of me say they were there for extra credit. Having already successfully navigated Provo’s complicated dating scene, why else would they be at such a lecture?

Professor Holman started out the lecture by saying that he wouldn’t be staying for the viewing of The Princess Bride following the lecture, because he was going home to his own “princess bride”. The crowd let out a coordinated “aaaahhh”—or at least the females in the room did.
Professor Holman then explained that his team had spent the last several months studying Provo dating life. A group of young adults had been selected to have their dating life put under a microscope and revealed to the student body. These research subjects had agreed to send weekly texts on the status of their relationship (such as “I’m dating someone”, “I just broke up”, or “I went on a first date”) over the period of several months. A few participants were also given weekly interviews on their thoughts on dating.

With all of these results, the professor and his team found that Provo dating is not how dating used to be. Apparently there are no clear signs understood by everyone that indicate how the relationship is progressing. Generally, a guy and girl who like each other will increase time spent together, until they decide they want to date. This mutual like could be communicated solely through physical affection (bad) or through communication (good).

The research team also found some interesting dating quirks of their research subjects. They humorously grouped their subjects into several sociological categories. The girls fit into 3 groups:
Flirtatious Girls: These are the flirtatious girls who base their self-esteem off of how many guys like them. If this girl likes you, you will KNOW. Unfortunately, they probably like 10 other guys as well. The tough thing with dating these girls is convincing them that you are the best guy around and that you are willing to treat her better than the other millions of guys she’s after.
Lock and Key Girls: I heard this description and immediately thought “Oh my gosh, it’s me!” These girls are relationship-avoidant. They are independently minded and have high (sometimes too high) expectations. If one of these girls likes you, good luck—there is no way you will know. Just ease into the relationship slowly and convince her you are worth it.
Stable Girls (I don’t remember the analogy for this): These girls are comfortable with dating. They will open up to guys and share their feelings and are willing to go through the dating process without rushing it.

As for the guys, I don’t remember the names of the categories. Maybe I was too preoccupied with being categorized as a lock and key girl. But I do remember the groups. They are:
Emotional Guys: When taken too far, these types of guys can be perceived as creepy or stalkers. Really, though, these are some of the sweetest guys you’ll meet because they’re very dedicated to dating. They feel rejection really hard. When they hear from general authorities that they should be dating, they feel guilty and get to work! But maybe too much work.
Closed Off Guys: These guys don’t try very hard to date. When they hear from general authorities they should be dating more, they think, “They’re referring to someone else,” or “I would love to date more, but I have too much homework.” Then they promptly lock themselves in their apartments on Friday night and play video games.
Stable Guys: These guys are willing to go through the dating process. They don’t jump into a relationship too fast, but they also don’t avoid dating. They move on after a rejection or a break-up and keep trying. And eventually, they win (find a wife, that is).

Professor Holman and his team said that no one fits perfectly into one of these 3 categories. Nevertheless, the characteristics of each category seemed all too familiar. So what can you do about these dating weaknesses? Well, there is hope. Apparently you can change your attitudes about dating. If it goes right, dating leads to marriage, which leads to family, which leads to life-long (and eternal) happiness. Even though there may be a lot of bumps along the way.

I walked out of the lecture a bit frustrated by my lock and key ways, but determined to change them. Provo dating, here I come!

Blind Date: Take Two

Remember how we had a guys' choice dance and NO ONE went? Well, this month we had a girls' choice dance, and TONS of people went. So you can see how many of us girls are dying to date...and getting nothing.
I didn't know who I should ask to the dance, so naturally I consulted my friend who knows everything there is to know about anyone. I figured she would know who had been asked and who hadn't been asked and who wanted to be asked. Consulting with her was the right decision, because she said, "Hey, I have a friend I think you would get along really well with. I'll set you up." So she asked said friend, whom we'll call Walter, if he would go with me. Then I awkwardly called him and asked him.
BLIND DATE TAKE TWO: COMMENCE!!!!
Why was I so willing to try another blind date after the last situation? Well, I figured I might as well give it a shot.
Kylie and two friends decided to ask 3 roommates. Needless to say, they were flattered and shocked to be asked. The 3 girls asked them at their apartment and held up signs with their names on them. One of the guys had just woken up and the next morning he probably thought the whole thing was a dream. Also, me, my know-everything friend, and a crazy guy in the ward whom we'll call Roger, were watching from the staircase during the whole asking process like a bunch of creepers.
So bring on Friday night and a very strange situation: 3 flattered roommates, one blind date, and one crazy couple Kylie had invited to come with us. We started off the evening by playing games such as "Oink, Piggy, Oink" (minus the sitting in the lap part), and Smurf. We ate some treats and then headed to the dance. Happily, Walter is on the ballroom dance team, so he really knew how to dance. Well, I guess he didn't really know how to "normal" dance, but he taught me some sweet ballroom moves. The 3 roommates (2 of whom just got back from their missions) awkwardly tried to cut a rug. Kylie's date, whom we'll call Ralph, was actually quite the crazy dancer.
And how was my date, you may ask? Was he friendly? Yes. Was he easy to talk to? Yes. Was he considerate? Yes. Has he called me or made any attempt to contact me after the date? No.
But hey, at least I got a fun night out of it all. And I can't deny, the doorstep scene with a million people was pretty priceless.
Blind date attempt 2? Success.
Blind date attempt 3? We shall see.

The Reason Why

Recently I have discovered the reason why I am still VL: I am oblivious. The End. I could end this post right here, but I will elaborate.

So, there is this boy in my Statistics class, whom we'll refer to as Brady, and he sits next to me every class and if he arrives to class before me, he'll save me a seat. We're pretty good friends. He's very smart and pretty funny and it's nice to have a friend in a class with you and contrary to popular belief, Statistics has become fun. Because we have a test coming up, Brady asked for my number so that we can form a study group with a couple of my other friends--or so I thought.

The week continued without any alarm, when today I was hit in the head with a frying pan!

In Stats class today, Brady and I were talking our normal before-class-chatter when BANG out of nowhere something unexpected happened. He started out our conversation with "What did you have for breakfast this morning?" [Now if you knew Brady you would all know that this is normal for him]. I answered with "A muffin, you?" And the conversation quickly turned to another familiar topic: "Do you have any plans this weekend?" He asked me. [Last week I went snowmobiling with family, so we talked about that for a while. This topic did not raise any suspicion in me as it probably should have]. "No," I answered, "I mean there is a stake dance that I'm going to on Friday. You?" [How am I not getting any of these hints!?] "Um, nothing really. Hey, so I have a question for you; it's kind of bold." [He did warn me, and still NOTHING! When he said bold, I thought, oh maybe he'll ask me why I don't eat breakfast?? Gosh, I'm dense.] "Yeah, go for it." I stupidly said. "Would you like to play racquetball with me on Saturday." [Still no red flags; I seriously was thinking: "It's nice that he and I are friends." or something like that.] "Yeah, I would love to? What time? And I'm not really sure how to play racquetball." He answered with "Two [or something;because it gets a little blurry here, I told you, hit in the head with a frying pan!] and don't worry, it's just for fun." I then said [still in oblivion, mind you] "Well, I have something going on for Relief Society, but I think it's a little later in the evening. So, sure. But no judgments because I'm horribly uncoordinated!" He laughed, and then his next words really brought the reality of the situation into view "No judgments, my friend's date--oh, yeah it's a double date. Is that okay? [I numbly nodded, OH. Now it's all making sense. And now it's way too late.]--doesn't know how to play either." The fact that I could speak after this realization still amazes me, "Well, I'll let you know tomorrow in Lab or Friday in class if I can for sure go. 'Kay?" He responded, "Or you could just call me, you have my number [OH SHOOT. I'm so slow!]" I smiled, "Right." Then class saved me.

And that, good people of the jury, is why I am still VL. I am really good at being a friend of any guy, but reading signs of any interest just seems to escape me!

Aden Quackenbush

Aden Quackenbush may be a bit of a nerd. But he’s a cool nerd. Apparently, I like that.
Aden and I became friends fast. One day he approached me at institute. When I told him where I was from he mentioned that his aunt lived in my area and described the family. I happen to be close to that family, and I looked at him flabbergasted. A memory flooded my mind like a tidal wave and I just started to laugh. I had met him in High School and I remembered him! But the only reason I remembered him was because I thought he was an arrogant jerk! How could this slightly timid be-speckled barefoot runner be the same jerk? But I knew he was. I couldn’t stop laughing but all I could tell him was that I remembered meeting him.
Throughout the semester it seemed like Aden saw all my doings. From his living room, he could see every time I left or came to my apartment. Unfortunately this was with a different guy almost every time he saw me. I wanted to kick myself when he caught me with Ben (that jerk I almost dated last semester) multiple times and introduced himself to him. I just knew he was so close to asking me out and now he never would!
But I didn’t realize I had a crush on Aden until our Ward Formal. I was kind of surprised when the ward hottie, Zane, was my date from the Date-O-Matic 3000. I would have never guessed that because so many girls in the ward wanted to go with him! So I donned my blue Cinderella-esque dress and got pretty. Aden’s date was one of my best friends. He had gone all out and rented a purple tux for the occasion (I warned you he’s kind of nerdy). We ended up in the food line together and he said “Kylie, you look so beautiful tonight” twice. Twice! My date didn’t even say that! While being waited on by the ward hottie I was wishing Aden had on a blue tux instead. Then afterwards I smiled while my friend raved about what a great date he was and, like everyone else, told me how lucky I was to go with Zane. My mind was yelling “wanting to be with the ward nerd over the ward hottie when you’ve got the ward hottie? What’s wrong with you, girl!”
The Sunday after that dance I saw Aden waiting in the lobby after church out of the corner of my eye. He ran up to me as soon as he saw me and walked as if he had just randomly run into me and we happened to be walking together. I was delighted by the adorableness of his timid approach! He told me how much he loved my testimony that day and how happy he was that he was friends with such an amazing girl. Wow! I told him I thought he was pretty awesome too and we happily sat together for Sunday School.
In the midst of finals I kind of forgot about Aden, my awesome slightly nerdy friend who still hadn’t asked me out. I got back in Provo a few days ago and didn’t make the effort to talk to a single boy. So I was surprised to get a call out of the blue from Aden himself asking me on our first date! I was very conflicted because I don’t like saying yes to a guy who asks me out right before we go, but I wanted to go and I really didn’t have plans, so I abated my inner dating Nazi by telling Aden how amazing it was I didn’t have plans tonight and then accepting.
When I saw him I was shocked to see he had lost his black-framed glasses! They were so endearing! He informed me he had lasik over the break and I hope he wasn’t sad he did when I mourned the loss of his four eyes.
Since we both hadn’t eaten he offered me the meal he concocted of rice, tomatoes and beans. It was surprisingly delicious. We invited his roommate Reginald (possibly the most awkward guy I’ve ever met who happened to write the code for the Date-O-Matic 3000) to eat with us and he accepted our invitation. I felt really bad when I realized I had left the apartment when Reginald was mid sentence!
Aden and I saw a captioned French film at the “International Cinema” which I really enjoyed. Aden is so cultured! When we were leaving the building Aden stopped and exclaimed: “I left my pen!”
I said “Um, okay…” I didn’t know people got so attached to pens.
He said “I love that pen! I’ll run ahead and get it!” I tried to tell him I would hit up the restroom while he was finding his pen but he was running away before I got the chance so I text him “I’m going to go to the bathroom!” so he knew where I was.
But he didn’t text me back and afterwards he was nowhere to be found. I ended up calling him to find him and he had no idea where I was. A.k.a. he had not checked his phone! Which means he got a text from me after the date that says, “I’m going to the bathroom!”
Oh the horror! Why in the world did I have to send that text? I have no idea how he interpreted that one. He’s probably thinking, “Woah this girl is getting way to personal. It’s only been one date and she’s telling me when she poops!”
Maybe I’ll make a habit of sending daily texts like “I’m in the shower! I’m shaving my armpits!”
Before he read the dreaded text and after he found his beloved pen, we went to a “Superhero” themed event on campus. This means the place was crawling with bewildering superheros like “Trashbag Girl” and “The Carebear Boys” in Carebear outfits designed to fit 5 year olds.
Most of our time at the event was spent sipping hot chocolate and having an enthrawling discussion. For a sciencey guy, he has one of the most artistic minds I’ve explored. We discussed sophisticated books we enjoyed, social issues, food industry, things like that. It was fascinating.
He doesn’t like to dance nearly as much as me, but he humored me and jumped into the dance going on at the event for the last three songs. He had fun too.
That’s basically it!
That was last night and this morning my friend and I went for a jog. We were talking outside of our complex and here walks out Aden with another girl from our ward. When he saw me he gave a little jump and we exchanged hi’s. It looked like they were going to the grocery store or something. They seem like really good friends, and maybe he likes her. Then what is he doing asking me out? I guess I really can’t blame him after passing by his window with a new boy every day last semester.
Well it's time to text Aden. I’m off to the bathroom!