Once upon a time I was a young college student in a carefree world where I could spend my days with guys who I wasn't even interested in with no consequences...or so I thought. I learned the hard way that hanging out too much with the same guy leads to either heartbreak or frustration. Heartbreak because one of you will develop feelings for the other and frustration when I start getting treated like one of the guys. That's the worst.
So where do you draw the line? Because you can't just not hang out either because how else are you supposed to meet guys, and you can't just ALWAYS go on dates right?
Let's examine some CASE STUDIES!
1. This has happened a million times. I have a best friend who is a guy and all we ever do is hang out. Even if I don't like him he takes up all my time and energy and then ends up dating some other girl.
NOT TO HANG OUT
2. The other week one of my guy friends started asking me to hang out all the time. I was so confused because none of them were exactly dates, but I stuck it out anyways to see what would happen. Finally he asked me to come home with him for the weekend. Yikes! I did it but I was in emotional turmoil because I didn't know how he felt about me since he had never asked me out. We had a great weekend (it was like a big giant first date), but he hasn't even called since. I saw him last night with some other girl.
NOT TO HANG OUT
3. I became instant friends with this guy this summer and we started hanging out every day. None of them were real dates and I was starting to really like him. I gave him a couple weeks and he never asked me out. On a Friday night when he asked me to hang out with him and another girl I just kindly and clearly turned him down. That was the end of the hangout fest. He has been stringing another girl along for months now and she is in love. He has not asked her on a date. We are still friends, but I have no emotional attachment.
TO HANG OUT (but only for a couple weeks)
4. Went to hang out with a big group last night, met a cute boy, he got my number.
TO HANG OUT
Well peeps, I don't know if I've figured out the great hang out question yet, but I think I'm on my way! I'm free of emotional attachments anyways and I'm having a ball! Also, I'm hanging out with an awesome guy tonight. Hopefully in this case the answer is TO HANG OUT!
Four beautiful women, two bedrooms, one bath, and zero boys. Add in the fact that we're all waiting for our first kiss and you've got blogging gold! We are Erin, Katelyn, Lynette, and Kylie, and we are members of the Virgin Lip Club.
Showing posts with label dates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dates. Show all posts
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Let the Feast Begin!
Provo dating culture is so unique we have a lot of terms and rules that go with it. For example "DTR" means that dreaded conversation where you "Define the Relationship" and NCMO means "Non-committal Make out." The phrase that comes to mind the most right now is "feast or famine" referring to the amount of dates you get in a period of time. It must be true too, because I'm exiting a famine and diving head first into what appears to be a schmorgastborg of dates!
I'm kind of shy when it comes to writing about my dates but my roomies are starting to threaten to write about them if I don't, so I figured this is safer. I'm gunna skip last weekend and begin with this one.
It's been my dream to go on a third date to a concert for a while. This was a first date to one of my favorite bands, so my dream has been partially fulfilled. Provo concerts are the best because they are wicked fun and the people are angelic. Seriously, you get all the dancing, yelling, partying, crowd surfing, and none of the smoking, swearing and drinking. I think I was right about the third date thing because I couldn't tell if I loved the boy or the concert or the atmosphere or what but there were definitely feelings going on. So basically if you want me to fall in love with you just take me to a bunch of concerts.
Date two was a group date at a Story Telling Festival with one of my best guy friends freshman year who I hadn't even seen since before his mission 2 years ago until the date. Again, I don't know if I loved the festival, or the boy, or we were up way too late, or I just missed him or what but, yeah, feelings. Somehow he landed an apartment with 6 boys who had all JUST gotten off their missions. That made for an interesting time because every boy acts a little different around girls after shunning dating for 2 years.
At his apartment after the festival I was at a table with of the boys and one of the boys loudly whispered to the other:
"So you gunna make a move tonight??"
The other whispered "No"
Then they looked at me all shocked and said "Did you hear that???" Seriously? I was several inches away! Even after I said yes, the second whispered:
"Are you?"
He responded "Yeah!"
Oh brother. Don't worry, the game is still on cause my date did not make a move.
Date three was a photo scavanger hunt. The date was a blast, but in the end he didn't even hug me! Boo! It was our second date since his mission, and the first was a bit awkward, so I guess this is progress? I like him the most but it seems like he may be the farthest from helping me ditch this VL ring.
So yes, I'm feasting. But so far it's only managed to make me feel something and I'm not sure what. So I guess we'll say confused.
I'm kind of shy when it comes to writing about my dates but my roomies are starting to threaten to write about them if I don't, so I figured this is safer. I'm gunna skip last weekend and begin with this one.
It's been my dream to go on a third date to a concert for a while. This was a first date to one of my favorite bands, so my dream has been partially fulfilled. Provo concerts are the best because they are wicked fun and the people are angelic. Seriously, you get all the dancing, yelling, partying, crowd surfing, and none of the smoking, swearing and drinking. I think I was right about the third date thing because I couldn't tell if I loved the boy or the concert or the atmosphere or what but there were definitely feelings going on. So basically if you want me to fall in love with you just take me to a bunch of concerts.
Date two was a group date at a Story Telling Festival with one of my best guy friends freshman year who I hadn't even seen since before his mission 2 years ago until the date. Again, I don't know if I loved the festival, or the boy, or we were up way too late, or I just missed him or what but, yeah, feelings. Somehow he landed an apartment with 6 boys who had all JUST gotten off their missions. That made for an interesting time because every boy acts a little different around girls after shunning dating for 2 years.
At his apartment after the festival I was at a table with of the boys and one of the boys loudly whispered to the other:
"So you gunna make a move tonight??"
The other whispered "No"
Then they looked at me all shocked and said "Did you hear that???" Seriously? I was several inches away! Even after I said yes, the second whispered:
"Are you?"
He responded "Yeah!"
Oh brother. Don't worry, the game is still on cause my date did not make a move.
Date three was a photo scavanger hunt. The date was a blast, but in the end he didn't even hug me! Boo! It was our second date since his mission, and the first was a bit awkward, so I guess this is progress? I like him the most but it seems like he may be the farthest from helping me ditch this VL ring.
So yes, I'm feasting. But so far it's only managed to make me feel something and I'm not sure what. So I guess we'll say confused.
Friday, September 2, 2011
The One Week Challenge
One thing you must know about Provo dating culture is it's all about the ward (your church group). A lot of people meet and date within the ward. And since marriage is a top priority for us mormons, it's also a top priority for the bishop of Young Single Adult wards.
I walked into the bishop's office the other day stressing out because the chair of my committee had just gotten released (I'm the co-chair). He informed me that my new calling would be the chair of the committee, and he also informed me that it was my job to find a man to be my co-chair. But not just any man. The mandate from my bishop was to call a boy that I have a crush on.
I laughed thinking he was maybe joking but he repeated "Now I want you to call a guy that you want to date Kylie! You will be spending a lot of time together, and you can even call extra meetings if you want."
I said, "Well what if the guy I like already has another calling?"
"We will release him! This is eternal salvation we are talking about!! So you better call a guy you have a crush on!"
"...okay bishop."
So there you have it! The one week challenge. I must find a boy I want to spend the next year or so with in a calling together in UNDER A WEEK! Why is it a challenge? I don't know WHO I have a crush on in the ward. But I guess I better find someone quick so I don't put my eternal salvation in jeopardy.
I walked into the bishop's office the other day stressing out because the chair of my committee had just gotten released (I'm the co-chair). He informed me that my new calling would be the chair of the committee, and he also informed me that it was my job to find a man to be my co-chair. But not just any man. The mandate from my bishop was to call a boy that I have a crush on.
I laughed thinking he was maybe joking but he repeated "Now I want you to call a guy that you want to date Kylie! You will be spending a lot of time together, and you can even call extra meetings if you want."
I said, "Well what if the guy I like already has another calling?"
"We will release him! This is eternal salvation we are talking about!! So you better call a guy you have a crush on!"
"...okay bishop."
So there you have it! The one week challenge. I must find a boy I want to spend the next year or so with in a calling together in UNDER A WEEK! Why is it a challenge? I don't know WHO I have a crush on in the ward. But I guess I better find someone quick so I don't put my eternal salvation in jeopardy.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Homework Helper
So I'm that girl you would call when you didn't know the homework assignment for English ninth period. I'm that girl you would call and ask for help on the Math homework due on Tuesday. I'm the girl you would call to get a summary about the reading assignment for Spanish class because you were too busy macking up on your girlfriend to read it. At least that's who I was in High School. The Homework Helper. But things have changed now that I'm a College girl!! Right?!? Ha. I wish!
Just Tuesday, I received a wonderful phone call from this kind boy, whom for all intents and purposes we shall call "Amadeus." :) So Amadeus called me and well, to be honest I was excited to see that I had a missed call from a boy!! It didn't matter that I had no romantic feelings for this boy-other than as a friend...honestly I wouldn't have minded going on one date with him...I just couldn't believe a boy called ME?! Clearly I NEVER learned the lesson to never "count your eggs before they hatch." This boy, Amadeus? Yeah, well he didn't know what our homework for class the next day was....so why not call Lynette, right?? She would know because obviously she has nothing better to do but sit around and wait for phone calls from boys asking about homework assignments they missed because they were checking out the cute blonde in the next seat over...Yeah. So now I'm back to my Homework Helper status I so desperately tried to fight in High School. My love-life is a beautiful disaster. Mostly the disaster part though.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The Refuser
I'm Kylie, the artsy one. I'm a graphic designer and all around artist. I love anything creative: art, music, dancing, theater. I've done it all. I'm a social butterfly to the max and a passionate dreamer. I love change and opportunities. I was a counselor at EFY (Especially for Youth) this summer, I spent four months living in Jerusalem and I've always hopped from one opportunity to the next. Do I do opportunity hop with men? Absolutely.
Wearied with the shocked, inquisitive and shaming response I get every time I confess my status as a VL, I decided to make it my personal New Years resolution to lose it by this New Years. The problem is, my goal is to kiss a man worth kissing and I know why I'm still in the VLC...I'm the refuser. My dating life is probably the most dramatic of the VLC right now, and honestly, it's been pretty dramatic since I turned 16. But that doesn't bring me any closer to my goal. Why not? I love change, I thrive off of the excitement and then take flight at the first sign of potential emotional pain to me or to the man. That means all relationships end or are carefully placed into friend zone before they even begin. I have mastered the art of gracefully cutting off my potential prospects in their tracks. This skill has spared me much emotional pain, but it also may lost me an opportunity or two.
I'm Kylie, and I'm a member of the VLC.
Wearied with the shocked, inquisitive and shaming response I get every time I confess my status as a VL, I decided to make it my personal New Years resolution to lose it by this New Years. The problem is, my goal is to kiss a man worth kissing and I know why I'm still in the VLC...I'm the refuser. My dating life is probably the most dramatic of the VLC right now, and honestly, it's been pretty dramatic since I turned 16. But that doesn't bring me any closer to my goal. Why not? I love change, I thrive off of the excitement and then take flight at the first sign of potential emotional pain to me or to the man. That means all relationships end or are carefully placed into friend zone before they even begin. I have mastered the art of gracefully cutting off my potential prospects in their tracks. This skill has spared me much emotional pain, but it also may lost me an opportunity or two.
I'm Kylie, and I'm a member of the VLC.
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