Nobody Loves Me

My greatest temptation is to believe that no boys like me. Sure, I go on dates, but obviously I'm still a member of the VLC, I've never had a serious boyfriend, and Ben throwing the "I don't like you even I told you I did" card in my face certainly didn't help. The fact is, I often feel like I need evidence as solid as a boy coming right out and saying "Kylie, I like you" to believe I have hope of being loved by males, and since Ben I need evidence even more solid than that.
In my recent lapse of trust I came to realize that even though Michael has been asking me on dates, he could be pulling a Ben and using me to adjust to dating life after his mission. That was an ugly possibility. Especially since it is so likely to be true since he loves what he is comfortable with, and of course he is comfortable with the girl he has known since he was 2, the girl he went on his first date ever with.
I have intuitively refrained from inviting Michael to do pretty much anything. Probably because after Ben accused me of being way too interested in him even though he was the one asking me out all the time, I'm afraid to do anything even slightly aggressive. So it was shaking things up when I invited Michael over tonight to watch Rio with the roomies (G rated movies are right up his alley).
After the movie, the conversation inevitable turned to dating, and he said a few things that supported my new theory that he has been asking me out because of comfort rather than interest. He was talking about the value of group dates because you could meet other girls to date, how he wanted his sister to get married before him, unless the situation came along, and some awkward date he went on with someone other than me this semester. I just don't think you would talk about those things in front of a girl you are super interested in. I did tell him on our last date that he had made me feel like a last resort, and he apologized profusely. But he didn't recant the fact that he was thinking about asking another girl and he asked me because I was fun to be around.
So if Michael isn't interested in pursuing me, it leaves me wondering...is ANYONE? I've always looked back on my past and been able to name many boys who have liked me, but is that just my perspective? Am I, like Ben, just thinking what I want to think? I could argue that most of them actually didn't.
I know for sure that I am less interested and more frustrated and the boy is less interested if I am the one pursuing, so I never do. But I'm left with the question, will anyone ever step it up and pursue me, because I can only do so much. Somehow I've got to convince myself that even if nobody loves me, somebody will.