On Sunday, the results of the Date-O-Matic 3000 were revealed. Unfortunately the computer program didn't work, so the 2nd counselor of the bishopric and his wife had a jolly old time matching us up with dates. They revealed the dates to the guys on Sunday, but we girls weren't supposed to know who they were until they asked us.
I was thinking more and more about the guys I put on my list, and I realized that out of all of them, I really wanted to go with #4, who I'll call Brian, to be my date. The reasons for this are 1) I already know him fairly well and 2) He is HILARIOUS and I think I would have a ton of fun, which 3) would create more blogging material!
My mysterious date stopped by on Tuesday to ask me, but I wasn't home. My roommates wouldn't tell me who it was, but because they were so excited about it (and because everyone else on my list had dates), I assumed it was Brian. He tried again today, but once again I wasn't home. My roommates told him to call me instead. Meanwhile I was sitting at a meeting for the student journal I work for, and got a call from Brian. It went something like this:
"Hey, this is Brian. How are you?"
"Good. How about you?"
"What are you doing Saturday night?"
"Going to the dance, I guess." (Obviously. I know why you're calling...)
"Do you have a partner yet?"
"Nope." (Obviously not. You were the one set up to be my date!)
"Will you accompany me?"
"Sure."
Awkward pause.
"You do know who this is, don't you?" (I don't know why he asked this. Was it because he really thought I would reject him? Was it because I didn't seem surprised that he'd asked me? [because I wasn't; like I said, I was expecting it]).
It was pretty hilarious that he didn't know how to ask me out for a date that was already set up. I can only imagine how it would go if he had been asking me out on his own; he probably would have had a heart attack.
So I am super pumped about going with Brian! I am probably one of the few people who appreciates his sense of humor, but seriously, he really is one of the funniest people I know. Just to give you a taste of what the date is going to be like, here are some of the things he said in Sunday School a few weeks ago (yes, I wrote them down):
"You know how I hate movie analogies...but...the prophets are like Gandalf and Obiwan."
About putting on the armor of God: "The pecs of righteousness." "You could probably use the shield like a weapon, like, BOOM! SMASH YOU!"
Okay, so these quotes make Brian sound like a bit of an idiot. But he actually is quite smart and witty. It's just hard to take him seriously sometimes when he's so dang funny.
So get ready for the post of your life after Saturday's date. It's going to ROCK!
Four beautiful women, two bedrooms, one bath, and zero boys. Add in the fact that we're all waiting for our first kiss and you've got blogging gold! We are Erin, Katelyn, Lynette, and Kylie, and we are members of the Virgin Lip Club.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
How the Date-O-Matic 3000 Won Kylie's Heart
When this "make a list of 5 people and we'll set you up" idea was first brought up in a leadership meeting I audibly said "NO!" Half the counsel jumped down my throat telling me what a great idea it was.
So I was ethically against this idea for a while. I claimed that obviously no one was interested in going to dance with me since no one in the ward asked girls to a required guy ask girl stake dance a week ago. I was sick of people forcing guys to date and holding their hand. Shouldn't they WANT to date after all??
After griping a bit and being urged to give it a try from the bishop himself, I have to admit, the Date-O-Matic 3000 is growing on me. In fact, I think it's great! Couples picked by the system from the ward have started to emerge, and all of them are extremely compatible! I wouldn't have thought of them myself, but when put together by the Date-O-Matic, it's great! Even the process of choosing 5 guys made me see the merits of some of the guys in my ward, almost as if I was having pity on them or something. I've never seen going on a date as a huge deal, so this became a good chance to just have fun, get some excitement going, and seeing what happens for a fun risk-free no-feelings-get-hurt evening.
But the best thing about the Date-O-Matic? Everyone gets a date! Even when I'm dating up a storm, few things get me more frustrated than my awesome girl friends not dating at all. My philosophy is thus: "every girl deserves to be pursued." Unlike the stake dance, with the Date-O-Matic, my worries are gone! I don't have stress out about me or my awesome friends getting a date, it's guaranteed.
Apparently my date-to-be stopped by tonight, but I missed him. Certain roomies will not tell me who said man is, but I think at this point I feel pretty good about leaving it up to the ol' date-o.
So I was ethically against this idea for a while. I claimed that obviously no one was interested in going to dance with me since no one in the ward asked girls to a required guy ask girl stake dance a week ago. I was sick of people forcing guys to date and holding their hand. Shouldn't they WANT to date after all??
After griping a bit and being urged to give it a try from the bishop himself, I have to admit, the Date-O-Matic 3000 is growing on me. In fact, I think it's great! Couples picked by the system from the ward have started to emerge, and all of them are extremely compatible! I wouldn't have thought of them myself, but when put together by the Date-O-Matic, it's great! Even the process of choosing 5 guys made me see the merits of some of the guys in my ward, almost as if I was having pity on them or something. I've never seen going on a date as a huge deal, so this became a good chance to just have fun, get some excitement going, and seeing what happens for a fun risk-free no-feelings-get-hurt evening.
But the best thing about the Date-O-Matic? Everyone gets a date! Even when I'm dating up a storm, few things get me more frustrated than my awesome girl friends not dating at all. My philosophy is thus: "every girl deserves to be pursued." Unlike the stake dance, with the Date-O-Matic, my worries are gone! I don't have stress out about me or my awesome friends getting a date, it's guaranteed.
Apparently my date-to-be stopped by tonight, but I missed him. Certain roomies will not tell me who said man is, but I think at this point I feel pretty good about leaving it up to the ol' date-o.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Nobody Loves Me
My greatest temptation is to believe that no boys like me. Sure, I go on dates, but obviously I'm still a member of the VLC, I've never had a serious boyfriend, and Ben throwing the "I don't like you even I told you I did" card in my face certainly didn't help. The fact is, I often feel like I need evidence as solid as a boy coming right out and saying "Kylie, I like you" to believe I have hope of being loved by males, and since Ben I need evidence even more solid than that.
In my recent lapse of trust I came to realize that even though Michael has been asking me on dates, he could be pulling a Ben and using me to adjust to dating life after his mission. That was an ugly possibility. Especially since it is so likely to be true since he loves what he is comfortable with, and of course he is comfortable with the girl he has known since he was 2, the girl he went on his first date ever with.
I have intuitively refrained from inviting Michael to do pretty much anything. Probably because after Ben accused me of being way too interested in him even though he was the one asking me out all the time, I'm afraid to do anything even slightly aggressive. So it was shaking things up when I invited Michael over tonight to watch Rio with the roomies (G rated movies are right up his alley).
After the movie, the conversation inevitable turned to dating, and he said a few things that supported my new theory that he has been asking me out because of comfort rather than interest. He was talking about the value of group dates because you could meet other girls to date, how he wanted his sister to get married before him, unless the situation came along, and some awkward date he went on with someone other than me this semester. I just don't think you would talk about those things in front of a girl you are super interested in. I did tell him on our last date that he had made me feel like a last resort, and he apologized profusely. But he didn't recant the fact that he was thinking about asking another girl and he asked me because I was fun to be around.
So if Michael isn't interested in pursuing me, it leaves me wondering...is ANYONE? I've always looked back on my past and been able to name many boys who have liked me, but is that just my perspective? Am I, like Ben, just thinking what I want to think? I could argue that most of them actually didn't.
I know for sure that I am less interested and more frustrated and the boy is less interested if I am the one pursuing, so I never do. But I'm left with the question, will anyone ever step it up and pursue me, because I can only do so much. Somehow I've got to convince myself that even if nobody loves me, somebody will.
In my recent lapse of trust I came to realize that even though Michael has been asking me on dates, he could be pulling a Ben and using me to adjust to dating life after his mission. That was an ugly possibility. Especially since it is so likely to be true since he loves what he is comfortable with, and of course he is comfortable with the girl he has known since he was 2, the girl he went on his first date ever with.
I have intuitively refrained from inviting Michael to do pretty much anything. Probably because after Ben accused me of being way too interested in him even though he was the one asking me out all the time, I'm afraid to do anything even slightly aggressive. So it was shaking things up when I invited Michael over tonight to watch Rio with the roomies (G rated movies are right up his alley).
After the movie, the conversation inevitable turned to dating, and he said a few things that supported my new theory that he has been asking me out because of comfort rather than interest. He was talking about the value of group dates because you could meet other girls to date, how he wanted his sister to get married before him, unless the situation came along, and some awkward date he went on with someone other than me this semester. I just don't think you would talk about those things in front of a girl you are super interested in. I did tell him on our last date that he had made me feel like a last resort, and he apologized profusely. But he didn't recant the fact that he was thinking about asking another girl and he asked me because I was fun to be around.
So if Michael isn't interested in pursuing me, it leaves me wondering...is ANYONE? I've always looked back on my past and been able to name many boys who have liked me, but is that just my perspective? Am I, like Ben, just thinking what I want to think? I could argue that most of them actually didn't.
I know for sure that I am less interested and more frustrated and the boy is less interested if I am the one pursuing, so I never do. But I'm left with the question, will anyone ever step it up and pursue me, because I can only do so much. Somehow I've got to convince myself that even if nobody loves me, somebody will.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
What to Do When Your Friends are Dropping Like Flies...
Well, y'all (I don't know why I said that because I'm not from Texas), we're still waiting for our dates from the Date-O-Matic-3000 to call, so we'll keep you updated on that. In the meantime, let me muse on a word called the "M" word...MARRIAGE.
I'm perfectly content to be single until I start getting outside pressure from supporters of the M word. Just this week at Thanksgiving, I overheard my cousin joking that another cousin was starting to become an old maid, and that my aunts have been desperately trying to set her up with eligible bachelors. Well, she's 24, folks...just a few months older than me.
Being around my relatives really pushes the M word in my face, because almost all of my cousins my age are married, and have been for a while. Which is cool...it works for them...but then it leaves all my aunts and uncles thinking, "What's wrong with that girl?"
And then there's the pressure that comes from living in Provo and going to BYU. It seems like every talk we hear at church and other meetings is about dating or some other form of the M word. They even trick us; I went to a fireside (Sunday night church meeting) where the speaker was advertised to be talking about "the effects of the media". Well, he talked about "the effects of the media on dating".
Then there's my friends. They're all jumping on the marriage bandwagon, and my fridge is plastered in wedding announcements. Over half of my former roommates are engaged or married.
So what's my problem? Am I a late bloomer? Have I not found the right guy yet (or, as my anti-soulmate professor would say, "a" right guy)? Does my breath smell bad?
To be determined, I suppose. But in the meantime I'll enjoy being single and not rush into anything that I would regret. And maybe buy some breath freshener.
I'm perfectly content to be single until I start getting outside pressure from supporters of the M word. Just this week at Thanksgiving, I overheard my cousin joking that another cousin was starting to become an old maid, and that my aunts have been desperately trying to set her up with eligible bachelors. Well, she's 24, folks...just a few months older than me.
Being around my relatives really pushes the M word in my face, because almost all of my cousins my age are married, and have been for a while. Which is cool...it works for them...but then it leaves all my aunts and uncles thinking, "What's wrong with that girl?"
And then there's the pressure that comes from living in Provo and going to BYU. It seems like every talk we hear at church and other meetings is about dating or some other form of the M word. They even trick us; I went to a fireside (Sunday night church meeting) where the speaker was advertised to be talking about "the effects of the media". Well, he talked about "the effects of the media on dating".
Then there's my friends. They're all jumping on the marriage bandwagon, and my fridge is plastered in wedding announcements. Over half of my former roommates are engaged or married.
So what's my problem? Am I a late bloomer? Have I not found the right guy yet (or, as my anti-soulmate professor would say, "a" right guy)? Does my breath smell bad?
To be determined, I suppose. But in the meantime I'll enjoy being single and not rush into anything that I would regret. And maybe buy some breath freshener.
Friday, November 25, 2011
My Humble Opinion on the Date-O-Matic 3000
Okay, so as Erin has previously written, our Ward is having a Ward Formal and our dates are being picked through a computer system. And I bet you are all dying to know how I feel about that? Well here it goes:
At first, I was pretty ticked off. I did not feel very comfortable with someone knowing who I may or may not be interested in in the Ward. I also did not want to get set up with someone that I really did not want to go with--I mean I LOVE to dance and I wanted to have a dang good time, plus I was probably going to get a little done up for the occasion, so I kind of wanted my date to be someone I was interested in, eh? Then I started panicking, "What if no one put me on their list?" "I bet no one put me on their list." "I'm not going, I don't want to be a pity date. I just want to dance and have fun, WHY does it have to be a DATE thing?!?" Needless to say, I wasn't very positive in my thoughts about this Ward Formal disaster. I seriously could NOT think of who to put down for my top 5 guys, I mean really?! They don't have enough guts to just ask us on their own?? But, I guess I could sort of see where the Ward was coming from...it might happen that not everyone would get a date or go-I just wish there was a different way to go about this fiasco.
Anyway, we should all be getting our phone calls within the next few days since the dance is a week from tomorrow [Saturday] and when we do, we will let you know how that all goes down, 'till then wish us luck!
At first, I was pretty ticked off. I did not feel very comfortable with someone knowing who I may or may not be interested in in the Ward. I also did not want to get set up with someone that I really did not want to go with--I mean I LOVE to dance and I wanted to have a dang good time, plus I was probably going to get a little done up for the occasion, so I kind of wanted my date to be someone I was interested in, eh? Then I started panicking, "What if no one put me on their list?" "I bet no one put me on their list." "I'm not going, I don't want to be a pity date. I just want to dance and have fun, WHY does it have to be a DATE thing?!?" Needless to say, I wasn't very positive in my thoughts about this Ward Formal disaster. I seriously could NOT think of who to put down for my top 5 guys, I mean really?! They don't have enough guts to just ask us on their own?? But, I guess I could sort of see where the Ward was coming from...it might happen that not everyone would get a date or go-I just wish there was a different way to go about this fiasco.
Anyway, we should all be getting our phone calls within the next few days since the dance is a week from tomorrow [Saturday] and when we do, we will let you know how that all goes down, 'till then wish us luck!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
The Divine Date
Dating is a funny thing. There are girls that will change themselves to accommodate their date/boyfriend, girls that will fluff up his ego to show their interest in the guy, girls that will over-analyze everything with her friends about what a guy says or does along with how she reacted, girls that need a boy to fulfill their happiness, girls that don't care, girls that are super flirtatious, girls that aren't sure how to receive guys' social cues, and the list goes on and on. So that left me to wonder where I was on this huge spectrum of girls. This week I found out a more solid answer to that inquiry. First, I have always thought of myself as an independent girl that does not need a man to make me happy, though I have to add that they are nice to have in your life. My dad has always taught me that I don't need a guy to make me happy, my mom always told me that I have great characteristics and that someday I will find some guy that really loves my quirks. [It definitely came out a lot nicer whenever she said it...she's very sensitive and sweet]. My brothers are some of my greatest friends--I am very close to my sisters as well, but I tended to hang out with the guys instead--therefore I have often been seen as one of the guys, a role I fulfilled with eagerness, it was a role I have been familiar with, one that I am comfortable with.
Anyway, this week has been quite eventful especially in helping me find out how guys that I date interact with how I feel about myself. Let's start with Tuesday, I was contemplating asking Ryan [the boy from the "Swap Date"] on a date with me. I have no issue asking a guy on a date; that's just how I've always been, because I've hung out with them most of my life, they don't scare me--they only do, if I'm really interested in them. Therefore I was slightly confused at why I felt the need to ask Ryan on a date. But I did. So we went on a date on Wednesday, we went to Divine Comedy [for all of you that do not know what Divine Comedy is, I shall explain to the best of my knowledge. It is a comedy routine at BYU that is totally clean and usually are parodies of Harry Potter and things of that nature and they add in a little Latter-day Saint humor] together. It was my first time going to Divine Comedy [DC] and Ryan loves DC. We had a BLAST, we talked and laughed until our stomachs ached; he said that he had a great time and that it was fun to go with me. [Note: I am writing this well after the fact and he has constantly said this and has also quoted some DC skits whenever he sees me]. Also, he attacked me in the Library--this meaning he scared me which is just part of Ryan's personality.
I learned a couple things about myself on this date: I am content with who I am and if Ryan's interested in me: GREAT, if not: Eh, no big deal...though he'll be missing out because I'm pretty awesome!!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Date-O-Matic 3000
So someone in our ward (church group) thought that all of us weren't dating enough (brilliant deduction, eh?) and decided to form a ward date. This is how it works:
All the girls must submit the names of 5 guys they are interested in going out with, and the guys must do the same for girls. The bishopric enters all the names into a computer program that analyzes the results and spits out couples. Once the couples are formed, the guys are told who their date is, and then they must ask the girl formally.
Our apartment had several reactions to this contrived date:
Kylie: "This is a dumb idea. I'm asking out Michael instead."
Erin: "What if no one puts me on their list? Then it's going to be all awkward, like, 'So, you put me on your list, huh?' Or I could just put down that I'll go with whomever, which could also be a disaster."
Lynette: "What if the gossip gets out and everyone in the ward finds out who I wrote down?"
Katelyn: "It's pretty dumb that the boys won't ask us out unless they are forced to."
So we found ourselves going through the "ward menu", aka directory of people in the ward, to pick out who we wanted to date.
I, for one, did not pick the guys I'm closest to. Instead, I put random guys I might want to get to know better, two of whom I've only met once. I figured that I might as well add to the awkwardness.
So finding out who we're all going with is going to be like Christmas.
Or maybe a nightmare.
Or maybe the nightmare before Christmas.
To be continued...
All the girls must submit the names of 5 guys they are interested in going out with, and the guys must do the same for girls. The bishopric enters all the names into a computer program that analyzes the results and spits out couples. Once the couples are formed, the guys are told who their date is, and then they must ask the girl formally.
Our apartment had several reactions to this contrived date:
Kylie: "This is a dumb idea. I'm asking out Michael instead."
Erin: "What if no one puts me on their list? Then it's going to be all awkward, like, 'So, you put me on your list, huh?' Or I could just put down that I'll go with whomever, which could also be a disaster."
Lynette: "What if the gossip gets out and everyone in the ward finds out who I wrote down?"
Katelyn: "It's pretty dumb that the boys won't ask us out unless they are forced to."
So we found ourselves going through the "ward menu", aka directory of people in the ward, to pick out who we wanted to date.
I, for one, did not pick the guys I'm closest to. Instead, I put random guys I might want to get to know better, two of whom I've only met once. I figured that I might as well add to the awkwardness.
So finding out who we're all going with is going to be like Christmas.
Or maybe a nightmare.
Or maybe the nightmare before Christmas.
To be continued...
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Michael's Apology
I got a call tonight from Michael and the sole purpose of his call was to apologize for making me feel like a last resort on Saturday. He had already apologized when I brought it up and that was good enough for me, but he was feeling really guilty and wanted to say how sorry he was again.
I was so touched! What a tender soul. Sure he doesn't play the dating game perfectly, but I can't imagine Ben apologizing to me for something he did wrong in A MILLION YEARS. I can't even imagine him admitting he did something wrong!
We ended up talking on the phone for 49 minutes and 11 seconds (yes I checked my phone afterwards) and as I've said before I love our conversations. When we are just talking, he is the easiest to talk to, most interesting person ever. And he told me how much he loved talking to ME because I always give him interesting new insights to think about and he thinks about what I said for days afterwards and tries to evaluate if he needs to change. Wow.
Of course I accepted his apology and told him it wasn't even necessary and he should stop feeling guilty.
He invited me to go to his sister's concert on Thursday. I didn't give a solid yes but he definitely deserves more chances.
I was so touched! What a tender soul. Sure he doesn't play the dating game perfectly, but I can't imagine Ben apologizing to me for something he did wrong in A MILLION YEARS. I can't even imagine him admitting he did something wrong!
We ended up talking on the phone for 49 minutes and 11 seconds (yes I checked my phone afterwards) and as I've said before I love our conversations. When we are just talking, he is the easiest to talk to, most interesting person ever. And he told me how much he loved talking to ME because I always give him interesting new insights to think about and he thinks about what I said for days afterwards and tries to evaluate if he needs to change. Wow.
Of course I accepted his apology and told him it wasn't even necessary and he should stop feeling guilty.
He invited me to go to his sister's concert on Thursday. I didn't give a solid yes but he definitely deserves more chances.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Michael's Mistake. A Diamond in the Rough
I didn't have too high of hopes for my fourth date with Michael this semester, considering when he asked me he prefaced it with: "I couldn't think of anyone to go with so I thought of going by myself, but then I decided to ask you."
Not the greatest pick up line I've ever heard. (The greatest was one of the most serious guys I know who gave me a brownie, looked into my eyes and said 'Kylie, I just wanted you to know that you are really sweet to me. Just like this brownie.' That relationship ended pretty quick) ANYWAYS.
Michael didn't even pick me up for the concert, we met on campus where he had been studying. We were about to walk into the concert doors, we had our ticket's scanned and everything, when Michael stops and exclaims "Michelle!" and runs over to his friend from freshman year. They hug and talk. I knew her too and we said hi to each other and Michael said, "Wait, how do you two know each other?"
FLASHBACK!!
Three years ago to the day.
My freshman year.
My friend, Kevin, asked me to go to the very same concert with him. He showed up at my door at the appointed time. The problem? He showed up WITH MICHELLE! He introduced the two of us and off we went to the concert. I started hyperventilating silently the whole way there with thoughts dashing through my head: "Oh crap! Who is this extra girl?? How did I get roped into a poligadate? I THOUGHT it was a date! Oh, shoot if it's not a date I was probably supposed to buy tickets for this thing! I didn't buy tickets! What am I going to DOOO!"
When we got there the voice in my brain paused for long enough to notice Michael himself coming up to us. He had been studying on campus (deja vu!) and there he met up with HIS date, Michelle. I guess Kevin had just brought her along to give her a ride and because apparently we were doubling. He forgot to mention that detail.
Disaster abated.
And that is how I know Michelle.
Creepy thing is, Michelle is the only girl I know of Michael has been on a date with other than myself. And she looks A LOT like me. Coincidence? I don't know.
BACK TO THE PRESENT
Michelle and Michael talk, which is incredibly awkward for me since we are blocking the line and the lady who just scanned our ticket is kind of gaping at us. I apologize and push us out of the way a little bit. And then what Michael does next is possibly the most awkward thing I've ever experienced on a date. HE ASKS FOR MICHELLE'S NUMBER. Right in front of me! I was blushing I was so embarrassed!!
When we finally left the scene of the crime and were safely inside the concert hall Michael says "Oh no! I accidentally deleted Michelle's number!" Karma.
I tried not to be upset during the concert and I did calm down after some uplifting music. I decided I would have to be assertive and bring up the fact that I felt like a last resort some time pretty soon. That made me feel better and I was able to set aside my doubts and have a good time.
Awkwardness aside, I really enjoy being with Michael. I love talking to him. Which is why I am so tormented by him! I can't stand him, but I can't stay away either! It would be easy to ditch him if he wasn't so dang amazing!
After the concert he said "Do you want to make mini s'mores now?"
I said "Okay."
He said "I actually don't have any ingredients to make it though." Great. He also doesn't have a car.
I said "Well maybe I'll just go home and do homework..."
But we ended up going to the art museum next door and having a delightful time discussing folk art quilts.
When there are no other people and it's just the two of us talking, it's really pretty amazing. We have the greatest conversations. So great, in fact, that after talking for like 15 minutes in front of my complex he just suggested we walk a some more. I get really hungry so we grab jdawgs for dinner. I guess that was pretty nice of him to take me to dinner too.
When he finally dropped me off at home I was feeling a lot happier and more equipped to say what I knew I must say.
When he said "Thanks for coming with me!"
I replyed "Yeah, it was great. I hope I wasn't a last resort."
He said "Oh well I thought about asking someone else I didn't really know and having it be really awkward or going by myself, but then it just clicked that I should go with you. And I was actually really looking forward to it, I love being with you."
I said "Well I'm glad to know that's what you were thinking, because all you told me was that you were thinking about going with someone else or going by yourself and then decided to ask me, and it made me feel like a last resort."
He said "I SAID that to you. Kylie, I am SO SORRY. I didn't mean that at all. I spend my life saying dumb things and repenting for them."
I said "It's okay, just make sure to make me feel extra special next time."
He said "I will. Thank you so much for helping me out Kylie."
We hugged again and said goodnight. It was a really good confrontation. He wasn't offended at all, he laughed it off, was sincerely sorry, and committed to change. Wow. He really might be a cocoon in metamorphisis.
I guess all I have to do now is bring up asking girls for their numbers while we are on a date!
Despite his mistakes, Michael does have some pretty redeeming qualities. It's what keeps me coming back for more. I'd say he is a diamond in the rough. Or a caterpillar/butterfly thingy in his little cocoon. Whatever. It's almost as if he knows what to do that is just enough to keep me hanging on. Or maybe it's God who knows. For whatever reason it is, I'm still hanging on to my little diamond in the rough.
Not the greatest pick up line I've ever heard. (The greatest was one of the most serious guys I know who gave me a brownie, looked into my eyes and said 'Kylie, I just wanted you to know that you are really sweet to me. Just like this brownie.' That relationship ended pretty quick) ANYWAYS.
Michael didn't even pick me up for the concert, we met on campus where he had been studying. We were about to walk into the concert doors, we had our ticket's scanned and everything, when Michael stops and exclaims "Michelle!" and runs over to his friend from freshman year. They hug and talk. I knew her too and we said hi to each other and Michael said, "Wait, how do you two know each other?"
FLASHBACK!!
Three years ago to the day.
My freshman year.
My friend, Kevin, asked me to go to the very same concert with him. He showed up at my door at the appointed time. The problem? He showed up WITH MICHELLE! He introduced the two of us and off we went to the concert. I started hyperventilating silently the whole way there with thoughts dashing through my head: "Oh crap! Who is this extra girl?? How did I get roped into a poligadate? I THOUGHT it was a date! Oh, shoot if it's not a date I was probably supposed to buy tickets for this thing! I didn't buy tickets! What am I going to DOOO!"
When we got there the voice in my brain paused for long enough to notice Michael himself coming up to us. He had been studying on campus (deja vu!) and there he met up with HIS date, Michelle. I guess Kevin had just brought her along to give her a ride and because apparently we were doubling. He forgot to mention that detail.
Disaster abated.
And that is how I know Michelle.
Creepy thing is, Michelle is the only girl I know of Michael has been on a date with other than myself. And she looks A LOT like me. Coincidence? I don't know.
BACK TO THE PRESENT
Michelle and Michael talk, which is incredibly awkward for me since we are blocking the line and the lady who just scanned our ticket is kind of gaping at us. I apologize and push us out of the way a little bit. And then what Michael does next is possibly the most awkward thing I've ever experienced on a date. HE ASKS FOR MICHELLE'S NUMBER. Right in front of me! I was blushing I was so embarrassed!!
When we finally left the scene of the crime and were safely inside the concert hall Michael says "Oh no! I accidentally deleted Michelle's number!" Karma.
I tried not to be upset during the concert and I did calm down after some uplifting music. I decided I would have to be assertive and bring up the fact that I felt like a last resort some time pretty soon. That made me feel better and I was able to set aside my doubts and have a good time.
Awkwardness aside, I really enjoy being with Michael. I love talking to him. Which is why I am so tormented by him! I can't stand him, but I can't stay away either! It would be easy to ditch him if he wasn't so dang amazing!
After the concert he said "Do you want to make mini s'mores now?"
I said "Okay."
He said "I actually don't have any ingredients to make it though." Great. He also doesn't have a car.
I said "Well maybe I'll just go home and do homework..."
But we ended up going to the art museum next door and having a delightful time discussing folk art quilts.
When there are no other people and it's just the two of us talking, it's really pretty amazing. We have the greatest conversations. So great, in fact, that after talking for like 15 minutes in front of my complex he just suggested we walk a some more. I get really hungry so we grab jdawgs for dinner. I guess that was pretty nice of him to take me to dinner too.
When he finally dropped me off at home I was feeling a lot happier and more equipped to say what I knew I must say.
When he said "Thanks for coming with me!"
I replyed "Yeah, it was great. I hope I wasn't a last resort."
He said "Oh well I thought about asking someone else I didn't really know and having it be really awkward or going by myself, but then it just clicked that I should go with you. And I was actually really looking forward to it, I love being with you."
I said "Well I'm glad to know that's what you were thinking, because all you told me was that you were thinking about going with someone else or going by yourself and then decided to ask me, and it made me feel like a last resort."
He said "I SAID that to you. Kylie, I am SO SORRY. I didn't mean that at all. I spend my life saying dumb things and repenting for them."
I said "It's okay, just make sure to make me feel extra special next time."
He said "I will. Thank you so much for helping me out Kylie."
We hugged again and said goodnight. It was a really good confrontation. He wasn't offended at all, he laughed it off, was sincerely sorry, and committed to change. Wow. He really might be a cocoon in metamorphisis.
I guess all I have to do now is bring up asking girls for their numbers while we are on a date!
Despite his mistakes, Michael does have some pretty redeeming qualities. It's what keeps me coming back for more. I'd say he is a diamond in the rough. Or a caterpillar/butterfly thingy in his little cocoon. Whatever. It's almost as if he knows what to do that is just enough to keep me hanging on. Or maybe it's God who knows. For whatever reason it is, I'm still hanging on to my little diamond in the rough.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Airheaded Boys: Cocoons or Oblivion?
I've been noticing a common theme in the guys I've been interacting with lately. No matter who it is, they all seem to have the same quality. What is this uniting feature? They don't know what they are doing.
The biggest airhead in my life right now is Michael. I am so confused because I love him and I hate him at the same time. He is such an amazing guy, yet so infuriating because he doesn't know how to date and for some reason always throws a wrench in the operation. He asks me on dates, yet is sometimes painfully awkward, and clearly not ready for a relationship. The first few dates he didn't even walk me to the door. On one he said "Well...I don't think I really have time to walk you to the door." Okay. Today he asked me on our fourth date of the semester. Good job Michael. BUT when he asked me he said "Oh I just couldn't think of who to ask, so I was thinking about going to this concert alone..." BAD job Michael! Either you want to go with me, so you ask me and leave out the internal debate, or you just go alone!
But the airheadedness doesn't stop with Michael, oh no.
Just tonight, my friend in town from BYU-Idaho called me no less than three times. Each time I was left wondering why he called in the first place.
Example phone conversation:
Me: "Hey Mike, what's going on?"
Mike: "Well....I don't know....what are you doing?"
I tell him I'm basically free.
Mike: "Oh, okay... well I don't know what I'm doing."
Me: "Okay....what do you want to do?"
Mike: "I don't know. I'm going to Lehi with my friend and his girlfriend" (and he didn't know what he was doing?)
Me: "Um...okay, do you want me to come or something."
Mike: "Uh....nah I don't know it's okay...it would probably be weird"
Me: "Okay.......well....I'll see you later...."
What was the point of that call? To make me feel bad that I'm not doing anything and tell me it would be weird if I went with him and another couple to Lehi? I don't know. I don't think he does either.
I still honestly don't think Dean (see The One Week Challenge and The One Week Challenge: A Follow-Up. They are quite funny) realizes girls exist yet. If I come over he will be excited to see me, but the second he sees a mountain bike, he practically cries with joy. He is so sweet and well meaning in his calling with me, but when I ask him to do something he will pretend he has no idea what he is doing.
Example, at a meeting with our committee:
Me: "Okay friends, Dean will start our meeting"
Dean: "What? Uh, well we didn't plan this and we have no clue what we're doing...so I don't know..."
Me: "We know what we are doing. We planned this before"
Dean: "Oh, okay well let's pray"
After the prayer, Me: "Okay, Dean has the spiritual thought"
Dean: "Oh I do? I didn't know"
Me: "Dean, you just prepared one, I was there."
Dean: "Oh yeah, well I guess we'll talk about..."
So sad.
But these boys are wonderful men! They can't be COMPLETELY oblivious! So I, with they help of a friend, who had a breakup because of this phenomenon, have developed a theory to grasp this mystifying behavior.
They are in cocoons. When I explained this to another friend she said "Yup. I'm dating a cocoon."
There is clearly only room for one in these cocoons and they are so self conscious they can't even think about girls. I sure hope they emerge as beautiful butterflies. Maybe I'll be unworthy for them then, because they all have hearts of gold. But in the meantime, I really have to wonder. Are they really completely oblivious? Or are they in cocoons? I pray for the latter.
The biggest airhead in my life right now is Michael. I am so confused because I love him and I hate him at the same time. He is such an amazing guy, yet so infuriating because he doesn't know how to date and for some reason always throws a wrench in the operation. He asks me on dates, yet is sometimes painfully awkward, and clearly not ready for a relationship. The first few dates he didn't even walk me to the door. On one he said "Well...I don't think I really have time to walk you to the door." Okay. Today he asked me on our fourth date of the semester. Good job Michael. BUT when he asked me he said "Oh I just couldn't think of who to ask, so I was thinking about going to this concert alone..." BAD job Michael! Either you want to go with me, so you ask me and leave out the internal debate, or you just go alone!
But the airheadedness doesn't stop with Michael, oh no.
Just tonight, my friend in town from BYU-Idaho called me no less than three times. Each time I was left wondering why he called in the first place.
Example phone conversation:
Me: "Hey Mike, what's going on?"
Mike: "Well....I don't know....what are you doing?"
I tell him I'm basically free.
Mike: "Oh, okay... well I don't know what I'm doing."
Me: "Okay....what do you want to do?"
Mike: "I don't know. I'm going to Lehi with my friend and his girlfriend" (and he didn't know what he was doing?)
Me: "Um...okay, do you want me to come or something."
Mike: "Uh....nah I don't know it's okay...it would probably be weird"
Me: "Okay.......well....I'll see you later...."
What was the point of that call? To make me feel bad that I'm not doing anything and tell me it would be weird if I went with him and another couple to Lehi? I don't know. I don't think he does either.
I still honestly don't think Dean (see The One Week Challenge and The One Week Challenge: A Follow-Up. They are quite funny) realizes girls exist yet. If I come over he will be excited to see me, but the second he sees a mountain bike, he practically cries with joy. He is so sweet and well meaning in his calling with me, but when I ask him to do something he will pretend he has no idea what he is doing.
Example, at a meeting with our committee:
Me: "Okay friends, Dean will start our meeting"
Dean: "What? Uh, well we didn't plan this and we have no clue what we're doing...so I don't know..."
Me: "We know what we are doing. We planned this before"
Dean: "Oh, okay well let's pray"
After the prayer, Me: "Okay, Dean has the spiritual thought"
Dean: "Oh I do? I didn't know"
Me: "Dean, you just prepared one, I was there."
Dean: "Oh yeah, well I guess we'll talk about..."
So sad.
But these boys are wonderful men! They can't be COMPLETELY oblivious! So I, with they help of a friend, who had a breakup because of this phenomenon, have developed a theory to grasp this mystifying behavior.
They are in cocoons. When I explained this to another friend she said "Yup. I'm dating a cocoon."
There is clearly only room for one in these cocoons and they are so self conscious they can't even think about girls. I sure hope they emerge as beautiful butterflies. Maybe I'll be unworthy for them then, because they all have hearts of gold. But in the meantime, I really have to wonder. Are they really completely oblivious? Or are they in cocoons? I pray for the latter.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Oil is to Water as Love is to Homework
I’ve heard somewhere that the most unproductive and detrimental semester in a BYU student’s career is the one just after they get engaged. My first reaction when I heard that was to think to myself, “Yeah right, if I ever manage to get engaged, it will be such a weight off my shoulders that school will be a cinch!” However, as I’ve tried my hand at introspection each time I’ve had a minor crush on some boy, I’ve come to realize it’s not going to be that easy. Not that I’m saying I’m going to get engaged anytime soon. I can’t even get a boy to ask me out on a date, let alone ask me to spend the rest of my life and eternity with him. But despite all my big talk about not needing a man, being too busy with school work and/or waiting for the man to step up to the plate, I find myself caught in that old familiar trap of crushing on some boy. And despite all my attempts to approach the situation with a practical and emotionally level head, I still find myself stuck in the same silly quick sand of day-dreaming in the weirdest fashion about said boy which leads to a profound lack of productivity on my part, thus proving that statistic I heard somewhere.
Let me start off by saying, I blame Lynette. You see my current squeeze, who has been dubbed Jake for the time being, has been in the ward at least as long as I have and I remember being introduced to him within my first week in the ward. He’s a really nice guy and very attractive (so much so that I recently heard it said that every girl in the ward at some point or another has a crush on good ol’ Jake) and I’ve thought many times in the past that I could be interested if he ever seemed inclined to be interested in me. However, I would watch him interact with other girls and then compare that to how he would interact with me and decide that he couldn’t possibly be interested, so I moved on. Come to find out, he’s my home teacher this semester. Given that I’ve already decided he’s not interested that shouldn’t be a problem right? Wrong. After his first visit, Lynette says to me, and I quote: “Jake is totally into you!” The power of suggestion being what it is, my mind took off with the numerous possibilities emanating from the potential truth of that statement. That’s when the trouble started. Thanks Lynette!
As Lynette has already recounted she and I shared a delightful evening on what she chose to call a “swap date”. This meant that she found a guy to go on a date with me and I found one for her. And who should she choose for me, but the one and only Jake. The date was great fun, but it left me in a very unpleasant (at least for a die-hard stoic such as myself) state of twitterpation. Ever since then, every move I make is carefully scrutinized by myself, my mother, my sisters and about 10 other people both before and after I make it; and, every move he makes undergoes the same strict regimen of scrutiny until I’m so tied up in impossible knots in a desperate effort not to trip and mess this up. I find myself over-thinking every little gesture he makes, even though my rational mind keeps screaming that he has to be nice because he’s my home teacher. What can it mean that he chose to walk on the same side of the middle railing on the stairs down off campus when he walked me home from the library late at night? What sort of message is he trying to send when he responds almost instantaneously to texts that I send him? What coded message can there be in a seemingly innocent invite to watch his intramural soccer game? AHHHHHHHHHHH! What does any of it mean?!
Having overly suggestive roommates who are prone to girly squealing at the slightest provocation doesn’t help matters either. It seems there are two sides of me that are fighting the ultimate battle for supremacy here. There is the calm, cool and collected left-brained side of me that craves logic and pragmatism in all things which usually enjoys the top spot in the pecking order. Then there is the carefully closeted hopeless romantic side which likes to play games with my nerves by allowing perfectly disgusting bouts of girly giddiness to slip through the cracks a little too often of late. The constant bickering between these two sides of my personality leaves me in a terribly unstable state resembling a slight case of paranoid schizophrenia and leading my roommates to not completely unfounded doubts about my mental health. I’m afraid that until something definitive happens with Jake, I’m going to keep serving as living proof that “love” and homework don’t mix.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Missionaries and Dating
Okay, so certain people thought I wasn't specific enough in my last post. So to answer your questions, all I did with my friend from the mission was eat dinner and talk. It was pretty casual. But in case some of you (especially those of you who aren't mormon) are wondering why it may feel somewhat weird/awkward/unusual to hang out with someone of the opposite gender who you met on the mission, I will tell you why.
First of all, let me clarify what it means to serve a mission in the LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; see www.mormon.org). Maybe you've seen those two young men with white shirts and nametags walking around your neighborhood. Serving a mission means you give up 18 months to 2 years of your life to be a full-time servant of the Lord. This means no talking to your family (besides letters), no hanging out with friends, no watching TV (besides religious movies), no having a normal job or school, and yes....NO DATING.
Why must missionaries follow such strict rules? Yes, the rules are difficult at first, but once you spend a little bit of time as a missionary you understand why, and following the rules becomes second-nature. It is a wonderful thing to dedicate all of your time to serving the Lord and serving other people without outside distractions. As you spend ten to twelve hours a day studying, teaching, and serving, you feel the greatest sense of joy you could ever feel.
So obviously, dating doesn't really fit in to the missionary lifestyle. When I went on my first date after getting back from the mission, I must say that it was a bit awkward. I hadn't been alone with a boy for eighteen months. Missionaries must at all times stay with a companion of the same gender, and if the two of you are teaching someone of the opposite gender, you must have someone else with you. Believe me, this prevents a lot of problems.
DO missionaries ever date? Well, if they do, they usually get sent home from their missions. I have met many a couple who has met on their mission, but they didn't date until after their mission.
I have a friend who served his mission in Germany. He really liked a girl who lived there, but he didn't date her until he came home. The night he got back from his mission, he called her. He started talking to her on the phone every night, and a week later, he proposed over the phone! Don't worry; this isn't the typical situation.
Anyway, hopefully all this explains why it was a little weird to spend time one-on-one with a guy I met on the mission when we were both missionaries. But now that we are "normal people" again, it wasn't that weird at all.
Next time you see a missionary, you will understand a little better what their life is like. So be kind to them. And listen to what they have to say.
First of all, let me clarify what it means to serve a mission in the LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; see www.mormon.org). Maybe you've seen those two young men with white shirts and nametags walking around your neighborhood. Serving a mission means you give up 18 months to 2 years of your life to be a full-time servant of the Lord. This means no talking to your family (besides letters), no hanging out with friends, no watching TV (besides religious movies), no having a normal job or school, and yes....NO DATING.
Why must missionaries follow such strict rules? Yes, the rules are difficult at first, but once you spend a little bit of time as a missionary you understand why, and following the rules becomes second-nature. It is a wonderful thing to dedicate all of your time to serving the Lord and serving other people without outside distractions. As you spend ten to twelve hours a day studying, teaching, and serving, you feel the greatest sense of joy you could ever feel.
So obviously, dating doesn't really fit in to the missionary lifestyle. When I went on my first date after getting back from the mission, I must say that it was a bit awkward. I hadn't been alone with a boy for eighteen months. Missionaries must at all times stay with a companion of the same gender, and if the two of you are teaching someone of the opposite gender, you must have someone else with you. Believe me, this prevents a lot of problems.
DO missionaries ever date? Well, if they do, they usually get sent home from their missions. I have met many a couple who has met on their mission, but they didn't date until after their mission.
I have a friend who served his mission in Germany. He really liked a girl who lived there, but he didn't date her until he came home. The night he got back from his mission, he called her. He started talking to her on the phone every night, and a week later, he proposed over the phone! Don't worry; this isn't the typical situation.
Anyway, hopefully all this explains why it was a little weird to spend time one-on-one with a guy I met on the mission when we were both missionaries. But now that we are "normal people" again, it wasn't that weird at all.
Next time you see a missionary, you will understand a little better what their life is like. So be kind to them. And listen to what they have to say.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
The Non-Date
So I just hung out with a friend from the mission. I say hung out, and not date, for the following reasons:
1. I was the one who planned said hang out session
2. I was the one who drove there to meet him
3. We each paid for our own meals
Other than these three reasons, the following made it seem like a date:
1. We met for a planned activity
2. We talked for hours and had a great time
3. He texted me afterwards and said we should do something again
It makes me wonder though, what exactly is a date? Dating is definitely eroding these days. Instead of a long period of courtship, people just hook up, or hang out in groups until miraculously a guy and girl from the group decide that they like each other and magically start dating. Going on dates with various guys, then, makes you look like a total player...and that is what we do in Provo.
Our church leaders have told us many times that we are never going to find the right person to marry if we don't date different people and get to know them one-on-one before deciding who we want to pursue a relationship with. They define a date like this: a date must be:
1. Planned 2. Paired off 3. Paid for
Even in Provo, people have different definitions of what a date is, which makes you wonder whether the activity you just did was a date or not, and what the other person thought it was.
Basically, it makes for a confusing dating life.
1. I was the one who planned said hang out session
2. I was the one who drove there to meet him
3. We each paid for our own meals
Other than these three reasons, the following made it seem like a date:
1. We met for a planned activity
2. We talked for hours and had a great time
3. He texted me afterwards and said we should do something again
It makes me wonder though, what exactly is a date? Dating is definitely eroding these days. Instead of a long period of courtship, people just hook up, or hang out in groups until miraculously a guy and girl from the group decide that they like each other and magically start dating. Going on dates with various guys, then, makes you look like a total player...and that is what we do in Provo.
Our church leaders have told us many times that we are never going to find the right person to marry if we don't date different people and get to know them one-on-one before deciding who we want to pursue a relationship with. They define a date like this: a date must be:
1. Planned 2. Paired off 3. Paid for
Even in Provo, people have different definitions of what a date is, which makes you wonder whether the activity you just did was a date or not, and what the other person thought it was.
Basically, it makes for a confusing dating life.
Strat Approves of Steve and My...Marriage??
I called Steve on Wednesday, the day after I met Strat. I was kind of nervous but I thought "Do it! For the sake of the blog!" and pressed call!
Steve was really nice on the phone! We talked for exactly 17 minutes. He was really happy and excited I called. He said "Well I don't know if I can visit Strat tonight, but maybe tomorrow." I was thinking like within the next week, but hey the sooner the better right?
Steve said "What are you doing at 2 tomorrow?"
I said "Well I have a mentoring thing"
"Oh what's that?"
I started. "Well I really like mentoring, like I was an EFY Counselor this summer"
He said "Wait! You were an EFY Counselor?! SO WAS I!!!"
Of course I knew that after my thorough facebook stalkage and that is why I slipped that statement in in the first place, but I said "NO WAY!! That's CRAZY!" Haha! I'm so clever ;)
So we talked about that for a while. But the reason he asked me what I was doing is because he wanted to ask me out to lunch for the next day (Friday) before even knowing what I looked like! I guess the EFY comment did it!!
OUR LUNCH DATE
So the next day we went out to lunch! I was kind of nervous to meet him but I reminded myself that I'm awesome and went for it! I think it's funny I'm so opposed to blind dates and yet I set MYSELF up on one...sort of.
Anyways we met at the MOA and the first thing he did when he saw me is run up to me and hug me! Brave man!
We had such a delightful lunch. He truly is the squeaky clean mormon boy facebook implied- my favorite kind of boy! He loved his mission, and he told me about how much his testimony grew at EFY. It was fun to talk to him! So fun, in fact, that he ended up being late for class! I felt kind of bad but also awesome that he preferred me to Chemistry.
He suggested we visited Strat that very night! So we did.
WE VISIT STRAT
We went to visit Strat on that Friday night. He is SO FUNNY! He couldn't wait for us to come! He ran around the house tidying up attached to that oxygen tank.
He said "Now did you two meet because of me?!"
We looked at each other and laughed and said "Yeah"
Strat said "Well I formed a little friendship for the two of you didn't I?"
We found out basically everything about Strat. The man loves to talk and he can barely hear us anyways. His wife died a few years ago of cancer, and his son died when he was younger while doing service in Mexico. So sad. He told us story after story after story.
He loved talking about his wife and how much he loves her. He pulled out a box and said "Now I have some advice for the two of you if things progress as they should and when you get married"
MARRIED?! I didn't notice until then but Steve was sitting pretty close to me and practically lept away from me when he said "the m word!" Hallelujah! He is not a marriage-obsessed-BEN!
Noticing our alarm, Strat said "Well it has the potential to go there. Doesn't it Steve? Doesn't it?"
Steve stuttered and I was laughing.
Strat said "DOES IT? Yes or no??"
Steve stammered "Um we just met today!"
HAHA!
Strat said "Well. In these box are our love letters. When you two get hitched you need to read these love letters to each other on every anniversary! That will keep your relationship strong!"
We both agreed that that was good advice.
Strat proceeded to slowly read us a sappy 7 page love letter he had written his wife before they got married.
The designer in my almost wept over those beautiful love letters! They were from the 50's, written in beautiful cursive with dark black ink on gorgeous customized paper with the most beautiful stamps I've ever seen. What a treasure! Not only for their beauty but for the sweet messages in them. I don't know if I've heard anything so romantic in my life! I haven't even thought to dream of corresponding to someone with that kind of passion. It made me realize that we have completely lost touch of romance in our society. Everything is so over-saturated with sex, sex, sex and more sexual undertones that we have completely lost the sensuality of commitment and true love. Even the BYU environment is so full of options everywhere you turn you hardly have a hope of getting stuck on one boy. The simplicity of a love letter is lost in the rush to meet more and more options.
I had mentioned to Strat that I sang and he demanded I sing before I leave. He even started singing some of his requests in his gravelly monotoned voice. I almost died laughing! I sang him a couple of songs and he literally started crying. I was so touched! He requested love songs. He was still thinking about his "Georgia peach."
It was ridiculously hard to get away. Every time we said we had to go, he would launch into another story to stop us from leaving. I could tell Steve was dying. It was frustrating sometimes, but I love Strat and I can sense how much he enjoyed having us there.
We finally left mid-story after saying we had to leave about 9 times and spending about 3.5 hours listening to stories.
I absolutely loved our visit with Strat, but I was worried Steve was really freaked out after the marriage comment from Strat and/or anxious to leave after listening for that long.
I figure whatever happens I'm really happy I made friends with Strat and I'm excited to visit him in the future (he already invited us to a Les Mis watching party he is planning) and what happened with Steve made for a really good story.
But when I text Steve: "Thanks for coming with me! You are awesome!"
He text back: "Of course! I figured if we were going to get married next week, we ought to visit him together ;)"
So he did take our potential marriage in stride. What a relief! I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know it was an awesome weekend with Me, Steve and Strat Wendleboe.
Steve was really nice on the phone! We talked for exactly 17 minutes. He was really happy and excited I called. He said "Well I don't know if I can visit Strat tonight, but maybe tomorrow." I was thinking like within the next week, but hey the sooner the better right?
Steve said "What are you doing at 2 tomorrow?"
I said "Well I have a mentoring thing"
"Oh what's that?"
I started. "Well I really like mentoring, like I was an EFY Counselor this summer"
He said "Wait! You were an EFY Counselor?! SO WAS I!!!"
Of course I knew that after my thorough facebook stalkage and that is why I slipped that statement in in the first place, but I said "NO WAY!! That's CRAZY!" Haha! I'm so clever ;)
So we talked about that for a while. But the reason he asked me what I was doing is because he wanted to ask me out to lunch for the next day (Friday) before even knowing what I looked like! I guess the EFY comment did it!!
OUR LUNCH DATE
So the next day we went out to lunch! I was kind of nervous to meet him but I reminded myself that I'm awesome and went for it! I think it's funny I'm so opposed to blind dates and yet I set MYSELF up on one...sort of.
Anyways we met at the MOA and the first thing he did when he saw me is run up to me and hug me! Brave man!
We had such a delightful lunch. He truly is the squeaky clean mormon boy facebook implied- my favorite kind of boy! He loved his mission, and he told me about how much his testimony grew at EFY. It was fun to talk to him! So fun, in fact, that he ended up being late for class! I felt kind of bad but also awesome that he preferred me to Chemistry.
He suggested we visited Strat that very night! So we did.
WE VISIT STRAT
We went to visit Strat on that Friday night. He is SO FUNNY! He couldn't wait for us to come! He ran around the house tidying up attached to that oxygen tank.
He said "Now did you two meet because of me?!"
We looked at each other and laughed and said "Yeah"
Strat said "Well I formed a little friendship for the two of you didn't I?"
We found out basically everything about Strat. The man loves to talk and he can barely hear us anyways. His wife died a few years ago of cancer, and his son died when he was younger while doing service in Mexico. So sad. He told us story after story after story.
He loved talking about his wife and how much he loves her. He pulled out a box and said "Now I have some advice for the two of you if things progress as they should and when you get married"
MARRIED?! I didn't notice until then but Steve was sitting pretty close to me and practically lept away from me when he said "the m word!" Hallelujah! He is not a marriage-obsessed-BEN!
Noticing our alarm, Strat said "Well it has the potential to go there. Doesn't it Steve? Doesn't it?"
Steve stuttered and I was laughing.
Strat said "DOES IT? Yes or no??"
Steve stammered "Um we just met today!"
HAHA!
Strat said "Well. In these box are our love letters. When you two get hitched you need to read these love letters to each other on every anniversary! That will keep your relationship strong!"
We both agreed that that was good advice.
Strat proceeded to slowly read us a sappy 7 page love letter he had written his wife before they got married.
The designer in my almost wept over those beautiful love letters! They were from the 50's, written in beautiful cursive with dark black ink on gorgeous customized paper with the most beautiful stamps I've ever seen. What a treasure! Not only for their beauty but for the sweet messages in them. I don't know if I've heard anything so romantic in my life! I haven't even thought to dream of corresponding to someone with that kind of passion. It made me realize that we have completely lost touch of romance in our society. Everything is so over-saturated with sex, sex, sex and more sexual undertones that we have completely lost the sensuality of commitment and true love. Even the BYU environment is so full of options everywhere you turn you hardly have a hope of getting stuck on one boy. The simplicity of a love letter is lost in the rush to meet more and more options.
I had mentioned to Strat that I sang and he demanded I sing before I leave. He even started singing some of his requests in his gravelly monotoned voice. I almost died laughing! I sang him a couple of songs and he literally started crying. I was so touched! He requested love songs. He was still thinking about his "Georgia peach."
It was ridiculously hard to get away. Every time we said we had to go, he would launch into another story to stop us from leaving. I could tell Steve was dying. It was frustrating sometimes, but I love Strat and I can sense how much he enjoyed having us there.
We finally left mid-story after saying we had to leave about 9 times and spending about 3.5 hours listening to stories.
I absolutely loved our visit with Strat, but I was worried Steve was really freaked out after the marriage comment from Strat and/or anxious to leave after listening for that long.
I figure whatever happens I'm really happy I made friends with Strat and I'm excited to visit him in the future (he already invited us to a Les Mis watching party he is planning) and what happened with Steve made for a really good story.
But when I text Steve: "Thanks for coming with me! You are awesome!"
He text back: "Of course! I figured if we were going to get married next week, we ought to visit him together ;)"
So he did take our potential marriage in stride. What a relief! I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know it was an awesome weekend with Me, Steve and Strat Wendleboe.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Me, Steve, and Strat Wendelboe
So I've been craving old person interaction. I can only take interacting with college aged students for so long before I start running off to nursing homes. It's true. So imagine my delight when I grabbed dinner at The Cougareat before my late night class and saw a 90 year old man with an oxygen tank sitting alone at a table.
I introduced myself and asked if I could sit down. He said "Of course! I love having company!" His name is Strat Wendelboe (not changed). Although he couldn't always hear me and I had to repeat myself several times, we had a delightful conversation. He told me his wife recently had cancer and died. He lives in his house by himself and is bored and lonely. I said I wanted to visit him and he was so excited! He drew me a detailed map of his house on my napkin.
I said "Would you like my number Strat?"
He said "Yes of course! Here write it on this newspaper!"
As I wrote my number on the newspaper, I saw another entry on the newspaper. It said:
"Hey Strat! It was so nice to meet you! -Steve" with Steve's number and address.
"Woah! What kind of man takes the time to enjoy the company of a sweet old man," I thought to myself! I instinctively jotted down Steve's name and number on my napkin before I wished Strat goodbye (He said: "I can't wait for your call! I'll tidy up the house before you come visit me!") and left.
Of course the natural thing to do would be to call this Steve and visit our common friend Strat with him. When I told Erin and Elisa this story, they brought up the point that someone that nice has to be married. So we began our facebook stalkage.
According to facebook, not only is this guy clearly unmarried and single, he is also clearly, well...PERFECT (As far as facebook can tell anyways). He has a picture of him holding a baby as his profile picture. He (like me) was an EFY (Especially For Youth) counselor. His favorite music is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, EFY Music, and classical instrumentation. His favorite book is the Book of Mormon. His favorite movies are "The Testaments" "Toy Story" and "The Gordan B Hinckley Movie." He served a mission in Puerto Rico and the Caribbean. His relationship status is SINGLE. "His" website is mormon.org . AND he likes talking to sweet little old men for fun.
Is Steve too good to be true or does God like to reward you for looking out for his children with the number of a hot guy? All I know is, I'm calling Steve tomorrow FOR SURE!
I introduced myself and asked if I could sit down. He said "Of course! I love having company!" His name is Strat Wendelboe (not changed). Although he couldn't always hear me and I had to repeat myself several times, we had a delightful conversation. He told me his wife recently had cancer and died. He lives in his house by himself and is bored and lonely. I said I wanted to visit him and he was so excited! He drew me a detailed map of his house on my napkin.
I said "Would you like my number Strat?"
He said "Yes of course! Here write it on this newspaper!"
As I wrote my number on the newspaper, I saw another entry on the newspaper. It said:
"Hey Strat! It was so nice to meet you! -Steve" with Steve's number and address.
"Woah! What kind of man takes the time to enjoy the company of a sweet old man," I thought to myself! I instinctively jotted down Steve's name and number on my napkin before I wished Strat goodbye (He said: "I can't wait for your call! I'll tidy up the house before you come visit me!") and left.
Of course the natural thing to do would be to call this Steve and visit our common friend Strat with him. When I told Erin and Elisa this story, they brought up the point that someone that nice has to be married. So we began our facebook stalkage.
According to facebook, not only is this guy clearly unmarried and single, he is also clearly, well...PERFECT (As far as facebook can tell anyways). He has a picture of him holding a baby as his profile picture. He (like me) was an EFY (Especially For Youth) counselor. His favorite music is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, EFY Music, and classical instrumentation. His favorite book is the Book of Mormon. His favorite movies are "The Testaments" "Toy Story" and "The Gordan B Hinckley Movie." He served a mission in Puerto Rico and the Caribbean. His relationship status is SINGLE. "His" website is mormon.org . AND he likes talking to sweet little old men for fun.
Is Steve too good to be true or does God like to reward you for looking out for his children with the number of a hot guy? All I know is, I'm calling Steve tomorrow FOR SURE!
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