Blind Date: Take Three

Well, folks, I did it. I went on my third blind date of the year. When you get to be an "old maid" in the dating world, people are just dying to set you up. Sometimes being set up on a blind date by a mutual friend can actually be pretty successful...or not (see early posts about blind dates). This time, my friend, who joined the church about a year ago, wanted to set me up with one of the missionaries who taught her. Of course she is going to think the best of this guy no matter what, but once again, I figured it was worth a shot.
When I heard this boy was asking about me, I asked my friend what he thought about this whole situation.
"He's not thinking this is eternity material, right? I mean, it's one date," I said.
"Of course not," she responded. "Well, you never know..."
Great.
My friend and I decided to invite over the guy, who we'll call Spencer, for Sunday dinner. He also brought a friend, who we'll call Eddie, to set up with my friend. She was worried that Eddie would look like Shrek, although I suggested that maybe he looked like Shrek AFTER he turned human.
As we were concocting chicken and rice and salad, I looked out the window to see two dapper young gentlemen walking up to the door. They looked so cute and return-missionary-like...because they'd both just returned from their missions a month earlier. Yes, this means that Spencer was about THREE YEARS YOUNGER than me! I guess once you get to be a ripe old age, that doesn't matter as much, in fact, I have heard of many a couple that has about 10 years between them. Still, it's hard to go on a date with someone about the age of my younger brother. Besides that point, I was excited that Eddie was sporting a BYU shirt and they were both smiling with that good old return missionary spirit.
Spencer was indeed very nice and easy to talk to. Since he served his mission where I grew up, we found that we knew a lot of the same people. There were only a couple awkward silences as we conversed over our delicious dinner.
After dinner, we decided to watch "The Best Two Years," which is a movie about missionaries, so of course Spencer and Eddie would pick that to watch. Oh well. The situation got a bit awkward when we found that there was only one couch, so we all had to squeeze onto it until we were practically sitting in each other's laps.
After the movie, we made s'mores in the microwave. Then we said goodbye to Spencer and Eddie at the door, which was weird because the whole thing was more like a group activity than a date, and was probably the first "date" they had been on since being back from their missions. Spencer gave me an awkward hug goodbye and they left.
Then my friend immediately exclaimed, "He's not Shrek-like at all! He's soooo cute!" One minute later, they knocked on the door again. They forgot something.
Well, that's that. The third blind date...a mild success. Fun, but probably not eternity material. Fourth, anyone?

The Saga of Rob

I've hesitated writing this post for quite some time, because the situation is still a bit awkward and confusing. But also pretty much over. So I noticed in the last post I wrote about dancing with my friend Rob. Well, after the dance, things pretty much took off from there...maybe took off isn't exactly the right phrase, since they took off and then crash landed.
But anyway...so after our evening, Rob sat next to me at a church meeting and was firing compliments at me left and right. Which was weird, but made me think that I may actually have feelings for him. Shortly after that we were both at a dance class. Since as I mentioned Rob is a great dancer and fun to dance with, we kept gravitating toward each other as partners. After the class, they kept playing music and Rob just grabbed my hands and we started to dance some more. Everyone in the class left except for us as we continued to dance. Romantic, right? Maybe.
I started asking Rob to do things with me, because that's what you're supposed to do to subtley pursue someone. I went over to his apartment quite a bit and he taught me new songs on guitar. Well, the problem was that Rob wasn't initiating any activities. And then he started to act weird around me. I'm pretty sure I wasn't imagining his interest at the beginning, but perhaps he realized that his feelings were reciprocated, which as an inexperienced dater kind of freaked him out and he backed off. As I got to know Rob better, though I still appreciated our friendship, I decided that actually I probably didn't want to date him. We just weren't on the same page with some things.
So I swore off Rob, went out of town, and didn't think about him anymore. Alas, now that I'm back he is back to flirty Rob again. But I already made my decision that he's not right for me. The whole situation just leaves me a bit annoyed and confused. And still VL.

End of Semester and Still VL

It's been two months since any of us has posted on this blog. Whoops. Who knows if anyone will actually read this post, but I thought I'd update you anyway.
Well, there's only 3 days left of finals and then we're out of this semester. Unless something completely crazy happens in the next few days, NONE of us are exiting the VLC this year. Who could have predicted such a tragic end?! Although I guess we can continue this storyline for a while longer to see if someone does in fact exit the VLC in the next year or so. Let's hope what's to come isn't as tragic as what has come.
I have very meager updates in my dating life, but I will tell you what I do have:
Last weekend there was (you guessed it) yet another ward set-up date. The setting up process was a little sketchy this time. They had us all fill out a survey with questions such as:
-What is your favorite type of music? and
-What is your favorite color?
Then they paired us up based on compatibility of answers. I have no idea how anyone thought this could somehow find us a super-compatable person. I can just picture a guy and a girl on a date:
"Oh, your favorite color is green, too? We're PERFECT for each other!"
Anyway, I was paired up with Richard, the resident computer expert. (Anytime we have a computer glitch, we call on Richard's "touch of the master's hands" to fix our computers.) So of course I suggested that Richard and I dress as a mac and a PC. And of course, I was the mac.
I taped Mac signs all over me and put a paintbrust behind my ears, while Richard did the same with PC signs and a pocket protector. The ward date consisted of food, playing games, and dancing to live band music. It was actually pretty fun. The couples included:
Beauty and the beast
Salt and pepper
Shrek and fiona
Katniss and Peeta
Tom Hanks and Wilson (Kylie and her date)
So that is that. The next ward set-up date, which did not result in a single "compatible" couple, as far as I know.
Then the next day, I was at a service activity on campus, when I noticed some swing dancing going on. I started dancing with my friend Rob, and he taught me some sweet swing dance moves. He asked how I got in and if I paid for it, and I was like "whooops...," until he informed me that he could bring a guest and it was fine. Afterwards we went back to his apartment to play instruments and sing. He is very musically talented. So that was an interesting occurance.
Well, it's time for the end of the semester, and the end of all of school for me. I'm graduating! Perhaps this will bring me new opportunities in dating. One can only hope.

Extra! Extra! BYU Professor Reveals Results of Provo Dating Study

Provo, Utah is known for its obsession about dating matters, and for good reason. When you stick a group of thousands of Latter-day Saint (Mormon) young adults together who are all trying to get married, you can expect to hear about dating.

Being surrounded by dating talk, I was instantly curious when I heard about a dating lecture that would take place on campus. Professor Holman was to reveal his exclusive results from a study he conducted on Provo dating life.

I sat in a crowded room at the Joseph F. Smith Humanities Building at Brigham Young University, awaiting Professor Holman’s lecture. I nervously sat in the back of the crowded lecture hall, not wanting to be seen in such a laughter-inspiring situation. As I sat, I watched dozens of people enter the room: couples holding hands, groups of girls, and even some curious guys. I overheard a married couple in front of me say they were there for extra credit. Having already successfully navigated Provo’s complicated dating scene, why else would they be at such a lecture?

Professor Holman started out the lecture by saying that he wouldn’t be staying for the viewing of The Princess Bride following the lecture, because he was going home to his own “princess bride”. The crowd let out a coordinated “aaaahhh”—or at least the females in the room did.
Professor Holman then explained that his team had spent the last several months studying Provo dating life. A group of young adults had been selected to have their dating life put under a microscope and revealed to the student body. These research subjects had agreed to send weekly texts on the status of their relationship (such as “I’m dating someone”, “I just broke up”, or “I went on a first date”) over the period of several months. A few participants were also given weekly interviews on their thoughts on dating.

With all of these results, the professor and his team found that Provo dating is not how dating used to be. Apparently there are no clear signs understood by everyone that indicate how the relationship is progressing. Generally, a guy and girl who like each other will increase time spent together, until they decide they want to date. This mutual like could be communicated solely through physical affection (bad) or through communication (good).

The research team also found some interesting dating quirks of their research subjects. They humorously grouped their subjects into several sociological categories. The girls fit into 3 groups:
Flirtatious Girls: These are the flirtatious girls who base their self-esteem off of how many guys like them. If this girl likes you, you will KNOW. Unfortunately, they probably like 10 other guys as well. The tough thing with dating these girls is convincing them that you are the best guy around and that you are willing to treat her better than the other millions of guys she’s after.
Lock and Key Girls: I heard this description and immediately thought “Oh my gosh, it’s me!” These girls are relationship-avoidant. They are independently minded and have high (sometimes too high) expectations. If one of these girls likes you, good luck—there is no way you will know. Just ease into the relationship slowly and convince her you are worth it.
Stable Girls (I don’t remember the analogy for this): These girls are comfortable with dating. They will open up to guys and share their feelings and are willing to go through the dating process without rushing it.

As for the guys, I don’t remember the names of the categories. Maybe I was too preoccupied with being categorized as a lock and key girl. But I do remember the groups. They are:
Emotional Guys: When taken too far, these types of guys can be perceived as creepy or stalkers. Really, though, these are some of the sweetest guys you’ll meet because they’re very dedicated to dating. They feel rejection really hard. When they hear from general authorities that they should be dating, they feel guilty and get to work! But maybe too much work.
Closed Off Guys: These guys don’t try very hard to date. When they hear from general authorities they should be dating more, they think, “They’re referring to someone else,” or “I would love to date more, but I have too much homework.” Then they promptly lock themselves in their apartments on Friday night and play video games.
Stable Guys: These guys are willing to go through the dating process. They don’t jump into a relationship too fast, but they also don’t avoid dating. They move on after a rejection or a break-up and keep trying. And eventually, they win (find a wife, that is).

Professor Holman and his team said that no one fits perfectly into one of these 3 categories. Nevertheless, the characteristics of each category seemed all too familiar. So what can you do about these dating weaknesses? Well, there is hope. Apparently you can change your attitudes about dating. If it goes right, dating leads to marriage, which leads to family, which leads to life-long (and eternal) happiness. Even though there may be a lot of bumps along the way.

I walked out of the lecture a bit frustrated by my lock and key ways, but determined to change them. Provo dating, here I come!

Blind Date: Take Two

Remember how we had a guys' choice dance and NO ONE went? Well, this month we had a girls' choice dance, and TONS of people went. So you can see how many of us girls are dying to date...and getting nothing.
I didn't know who I should ask to the dance, so naturally I consulted my friend who knows everything there is to know about anyone. I figured she would know who had been asked and who hadn't been asked and who wanted to be asked. Consulting with her was the right decision, because she said, "Hey, I have a friend I think you would get along really well with. I'll set you up." So she asked said friend, whom we'll call Walter, if he would go with me. Then I awkwardly called him and asked him.
BLIND DATE TAKE TWO: COMMENCE!!!!
Why was I so willing to try another blind date after the last situation? Well, I figured I might as well give it a shot.
Kylie and two friends decided to ask 3 roommates. Needless to say, they were flattered and shocked to be asked. The 3 girls asked them at their apartment and held up signs with their names on them. One of the guys had just woken up and the next morning he probably thought the whole thing was a dream. Also, me, my know-everything friend, and a crazy guy in the ward whom we'll call Roger, were watching from the staircase during the whole asking process like a bunch of creepers.
So bring on Friday night and a very strange situation: 3 flattered roommates, one blind date, and one crazy couple Kylie had invited to come with us. We started off the evening by playing games such as "Oink, Piggy, Oink" (minus the sitting in the lap part), and Smurf. We ate some treats and then headed to the dance. Happily, Walter is on the ballroom dance team, so he really knew how to dance. Well, I guess he didn't really know how to "normal" dance, but he taught me some sweet ballroom moves. The 3 roommates (2 of whom just got back from their missions) awkwardly tried to cut a rug. Kylie's date, whom we'll call Ralph, was actually quite the crazy dancer.
And how was my date, you may ask? Was he friendly? Yes. Was he easy to talk to? Yes. Was he considerate? Yes. Has he called me or made any attempt to contact me after the date? No.
But hey, at least I got a fun night out of it all. And I can't deny, the doorstep scene with a million people was pretty priceless.
Blind date attempt 2? Success.
Blind date attempt 3? We shall see.

The Reason Why

Recently I have discovered the reason why I am still VL: I am oblivious. The End. I could end this post right here, but I will elaborate.

So, there is this boy in my Statistics class, whom we'll refer to as Brady, and he sits next to me every class and if he arrives to class before me, he'll save me a seat. We're pretty good friends. He's very smart and pretty funny and it's nice to have a friend in a class with you and contrary to popular belief, Statistics has become fun. Because we have a test coming up, Brady asked for my number so that we can form a study group with a couple of my other friends--or so I thought.

The week continued without any alarm, when today I was hit in the head with a frying pan!

In Stats class today, Brady and I were talking our normal before-class-chatter when BANG out of nowhere something unexpected happened. He started out our conversation with "What did you have for breakfast this morning?" [Now if you knew Brady you would all know that this is normal for him]. I answered with "A muffin, you?" And the conversation quickly turned to another familiar topic: "Do you have any plans this weekend?" He asked me. [Last week I went snowmobiling with family, so we talked about that for a while. This topic did not raise any suspicion in me as it probably should have]. "No," I answered, "I mean there is a stake dance that I'm going to on Friday. You?" [How am I not getting any of these hints!?] "Um, nothing really. Hey, so I have a question for you; it's kind of bold." [He did warn me, and still NOTHING! When he said bold, I thought, oh maybe he'll ask me why I don't eat breakfast?? Gosh, I'm dense.] "Yeah, go for it." I stupidly said. "Would you like to play racquetball with me on Saturday." [Still no red flags; I seriously was thinking: "It's nice that he and I are friends." or something like that.] "Yeah, I would love to? What time? And I'm not really sure how to play racquetball." He answered with "Two [or something;because it gets a little blurry here, I told you, hit in the head with a frying pan!] and don't worry, it's just for fun." I then said [still in oblivion, mind you] "Well, I have something going on for Relief Society, but I think it's a little later in the evening. So, sure. But no judgments because I'm horribly uncoordinated!" He laughed, and then his next words really brought the reality of the situation into view "No judgments, my friend's date--oh, yeah it's a double date. Is that okay? [I numbly nodded, OH. Now it's all making sense. And now it's way too late.]--doesn't know how to play either." The fact that I could speak after this realization still amazes me, "Well, I'll let you know tomorrow in Lab or Friday in class if I can for sure go. 'Kay?" He responded, "Or you could just call me, you have my number [OH SHOOT. I'm so slow!]" I smiled, "Right." Then class saved me.

And that, good people of the jury, is why I am still VL. I am really good at being a friend of any guy, but reading signs of any interest just seems to escape me!

Aden Quackenbush

Aden Quackenbush may be a bit of a nerd. But he’s a cool nerd. Apparently, I like that.
Aden and I became friends fast. One day he approached me at institute. When I told him where I was from he mentioned that his aunt lived in my area and described the family. I happen to be close to that family, and I looked at him flabbergasted. A memory flooded my mind like a tidal wave and I just started to laugh. I had met him in High School and I remembered him! But the only reason I remembered him was because I thought he was an arrogant jerk! How could this slightly timid be-speckled barefoot runner be the same jerk? But I knew he was. I couldn’t stop laughing but all I could tell him was that I remembered meeting him.
Throughout the semester it seemed like Aden saw all my doings. From his living room, he could see every time I left or came to my apartment. Unfortunately this was with a different guy almost every time he saw me. I wanted to kick myself when he caught me with Ben (that jerk I almost dated last semester) multiple times and introduced himself to him. I just knew he was so close to asking me out and now he never would!
But I didn’t realize I had a crush on Aden until our Ward Formal. I was kind of surprised when the ward hottie, Zane, was my date from the Date-O-Matic 3000. I would have never guessed that because so many girls in the ward wanted to go with him! So I donned my blue Cinderella-esque dress and got pretty. Aden’s date was one of my best friends. He had gone all out and rented a purple tux for the occasion (I warned you he’s kind of nerdy). We ended up in the food line together and he said “Kylie, you look so beautiful tonight” twice. Twice! My date didn’t even say that! While being waited on by the ward hottie I was wishing Aden had on a blue tux instead. Then afterwards I smiled while my friend raved about what a great date he was and, like everyone else, told me how lucky I was to go with Zane. My mind was yelling “wanting to be with the ward nerd over the ward hottie when you’ve got the ward hottie? What’s wrong with you, girl!”
The Sunday after that dance I saw Aden waiting in the lobby after church out of the corner of my eye. He ran up to me as soon as he saw me and walked as if he had just randomly run into me and we happened to be walking together. I was delighted by the adorableness of his timid approach! He told me how much he loved my testimony that day and how happy he was that he was friends with such an amazing girl. Wow! I told him I thought he was pretty awesome too and we happily sat together for Sunday School.
In the midst of finals I kind of forgot about Aden, my awesome slightly nerdy friend who still hadn’t asked me out. I got back in Provo a few days ago and didn’t make the effort to talk to a single boy. So I was surprised to get a call out of the blue from Aden himself asking me on our first date! I was very conflicted because I don’t like saying yes to a guy who asks me out right before we go, but I wanted to go and I really didn’t have plans, so I abated my inner dating Nazi by telling Aden how amazing it was I didn’t have plans tonight and then accepting.
When I saw him I was shocked to see he had lost his black-framed glasses! They were so endearing! He informed me he had lasik over the break and I hope he wasn’t sad he did when I mourned the loss of his four eyes.
Since we both hadn’t eaten he offered me the meal he concocted of rice, tomatoes and beans. It was surprisingly delicious. We invited his roommate Reginald (possibly the most awkward guy I’ve ever met who happened to write the code for the Date-O-Matic 3000) to eat with us and he accepted our invitation. I felt really bad when I realized I had left the apartment when Reginald was mid sentence!
Aden and I saw a captioned French film at the “International Cinema” which I really enjoyed. Aden is so cultured! When we were leaving the building Aden stopped and exclaimed: “I left my pen!”
I said “Um, okay…” I didn’t know people got so attached to pens.
He said “I love that pen! I’ll run ahead and get it!” I tried to tell him I would hit up the restroom while he was finding his pen but he was running away before I got the chance so I text him “I’m going to go to the bathroom!” so he knew where I was.
But he didn’t text me back and afterwards he was nowhere to be found. I ended up calling him to find him and he had no idea where I was. A.k.a. he had not checked his phone! Which means he got a text from me after the date that says, “I’m going to the bathroom!”
Oh the horror! Why in the world did I have to send that text? I have no idea how he interpreted that one. He’s probably thinking, “Woah this girl is getting way to personal. It’s only been one date and she’s telling me when she poops!”
Maybe I’ll make a habit of sending daily texts like “I’m in the shower! I’m shaving my armpits!”
Before he read the dreaded text and after he found his beloved pen, we went to a “Superhero” themed event on campus. This means the place was crawling with bewildering superheros like “Trashbag Girl” and “The Carebear Boys” in Carebear outfits designed to fit 5 year olds.
Most of our time at the event was spent sipping hot chocolate and having an enthrawling discussion. For a sciencey guy, he has one of the most artistic minds I’ve explored. We discussed sophisticated books we enjoyed, social issues, food industry, things like that. It was fascinating.
He doesn’t like to dance nearly as much as me, but he humored me and jumped into the dance going on at the event for the last three songs. He had fun too.
That’s basically it!
That was last night and this morning my friend and I went for a jog. We were talking outside of our complex and here walks out Aden with another girl from our ward. When he saw me he gave a little jump and we exchanged hi’s. It looked like they were going to the grocery store or something. They seem like really good friends, and maybe he likes her. Then what is he doing asking me out? I guess I really can’t blame him after passing by his window with a new boy every day last semester.
Well it's time to text Aden. I’m off to the bathroom!

The Attractive Man Who Didn't Know He Was Attractive

Funny story:
So for New Year's Eve, Kylie and I wanted to go to a dance in Seattle, but we didn't want to drive there...at midnight...by ourselves. (By the way, if you didn't already know, Kylie and I are sisters...feel free to unleash your surprised/shocked reactions.) We didn't know anyone in the new town our family just moved to, but luckily our mother knew that the older brother of our little brother's friend was home from college for the break, so we got a ride with him.
Before the dance, we went to a random party with this random guy and met all his friends. Well, there was one particular young gentleman at the party who I noticed was rather attractive, but alas, I thought he would never notice me. At the dance, however, during a slow song, almost all the girls around me got asked to dance. Suddenly, the attractive man came out of nowhere and asked me to dance. As we danced, we talked, and discovered that we have a lot in common. We both go to the same college and we both learned Spanish on our missions.
After the song ended, another slow song came on, and we continued to talk. Suddenly, a girl came up and interrupted our conversation by saying, "This is one of my favorite songs. I wish someone would ask me to dance." Mr. Attractive was obviously the only guy around, but he didn't take the hint. Then a random girl came up to Mr. Attractive and tried to freak dance with him, and he looked really uncomfortable. So I realized that the most attractive thing about Mr. Attractive was that he didn't know he was attractive. But I'm proud of myself that I didn't act like the other girls who were all over him, and I let him pursue me. And he did...kind of.
Now that's attractive.
P.S. No New Year's kiss. A new semester is starting, and still no one even close to breaking the VL. What to do?!

To Be Pursued

It's Christmas break, meaning that no dating is going on for the four of us. Being back at home for Christmas break, especially in a new house where I didn't grow up, isn't giving me many chances for dating. But I did want to share a little realization I've come to: I want to be pursued! No, not by a stalker or a crazy, but by a guy I'm actually interested in.
Talking to my best friend from high school about her new boyfriend reminded me that the good old fashioned dating system can actually work! They started out as friends just spending time together, then he became interested in her. She was also a bit interested in him, but unsure. He asked if they wanted to date and she didn't know so he held off. He wasn't buggy about it nor did he run away in fright, but he was patiently persistent. Finally, after a month or so, she realized that if she didn't date him, she would be forever comparing other guys to him and wishing they were as awesome as him. So she agreed to date him, and they've both been happy ever since.
I realize that the only times I've been pursued is when I'm not interested in the guy or when the guy isn't interested in a serious relationship. I'm tired of guys who wait around for girls to pursue them. Let's go back to the traditional courtship culture a little bit.
Oh, to be pursued.

Who Would Have Thought?!

The Ward Formal is a thing of the past; however, I did not have the opportunity to fill ya'll in on how my fate turned out. Well, the days leading up to the dance were quite unpleasant for me. Kylie, Erin, and Katelyn all had dates by the alleged last day that the boys could ask us; I, on the other hand, was dateless. Which was fine with me--I had loads of essays to write and didn't see the point of going to the Ward Formal anymore; I HAD to write those seven essays or else. Well, Thursday came and I still had no date or even a prospect of one, so I figured I was free to write my essays and sleep in and prepare for last minute midterms and finals. Gosh, I shouldn't make plans. Thursday night at around 10:30 there was a knock on the door. I was sitting on the floor--why the floor, I'm not sure??--finishing up two of my papers when this strange boy entered my apartment. Katelyn and I looked at each other--Who is this?? Well he introduced himself as Will. He said that he was my date for the dance. Okay. Will was from a different Ward and so I had no idea who he was or what he was like. This could be interesting.

Well, whether I liked it or not, the dance was upon me. And may I just say that I looked hot! Will arrived and then we went to the Church--this is where we were having the dance. Everyone was all decked out to the nines and the Church was decorated so nicely...blah, blah, blah...Okay. To the good parts. Will and I got along right from the get-go. He was really funny and nice. We danced and had icing wars and in the end I had a GREAT night! I'm definitely glad that I went. Now, I'm not interested in Will--not THAT way. He's a great guy and really fun to be around, but I'm currently not interested in any boy from the Ward or in Utah. My interests are otherwise occupied in another state that is dear to my heart! ;) But because of the Ward Formal, I made a new friend! Who would have thought?! Not me.

My Faith in Boys is Restored

FINALLY I went on a date that restored my faith in the male gender! Now I know there ARE good guys out there who DO know how to date! Let me begin at the beginning...
Thursday night I was watching Anne of Green Gables with some girl friends at my friend's apartment. Unbeknownst to us, her roommate decided to invite about 20 loud guys over for cupcakes, so we had to relocate our girls' night. After searching in vain for an available TV, we asked a guys' apartment if we could watch it there. Some of them watched the movie with us and a couple of them even enjoyed it and want to finish it with us! While I was there, my friend Henry asked if I was doing anything the next day and if I wanted to go out with him. He is an awesome guy but I haven't been super interested in him before because I thought a million other girls were interested in him.
On Friday night we went to see Christmas lights at a park, then got hot chocolate. The only regret I have about the date was that it wasn't long enough! Henry was so nice, so funny, and so interested in me and my life. In other words, he knows how to date! He kept making stupid puns which I thought were funny, and we were able to joke around without making things uncomfortable. I would totally go out with Henry again if he asked. Hurray for good dates!

Ward Dance Date: Fun Yet Frustrating

I know you've all been waiting by your computers in agony for the results of the ward date on Saturday. I'm sorry I have disappointed you, but I've been a little overwhelmed with schoolwork. But now the papers are turned in, finals loom before me, and I will let you know of the details of the date.
Before the big date, Kylie, Katelyn, Lynette, and I spent some time doing our hair, fixing out make-up, painting our nails...the works. After we were done, I thought, "Dang, we look hot! Why don't we always look this good?" Then I remembered why: 1) I'm always late so I'm lucky if I have time to pull my hair back and 2) I don't really care that much on normal days.
Anyway, our dates all came to the door about the same time, except for Katelyn's date, who came a little early and was shooed away by Kylie (poor guy). It was quite hilarious watching our entire ward (who all pretty much live in the same apartment complex) all walking to the church building together with our dates. And the ol' date-o did a good job; I kept ooing and awing over couples that were formed that seemed just perfect!
The evening was well-planned and quite fun. We started out with dinner (unfortunately, it was lasagna; fortunately, it didn't get on my dress). Brian and I talked for a long time about our lives. Like I mentioned, Brian is a very funny person, and is always trying to get attention by making hilarious/controversial comments. I was hoping it would be different getting to know him one-on-one. Well, although Brian told me a lot about his life, I don't feel like I know any more about who he is. He kept trying to be witty (which I appreciate) but in a critical way (which I don't appreciate).
Although the dinner left me a bit frustrated because Brian is just such a confusing person, the rest of the night was a lot of fun. We made a 2-story gingerbread house together, learned how to dance the cha-cha, played some card games, and danced the night away to songs such as the Party Rock Anthem.
I tried hard not to laugh as nearly our entire ward had simultaneous doorstep scenes at the end of the date. My doorstep scene with Brian was made all the more awkward because I tried to give him a hug while balancing our gingerbread house in one hand.
The most frustrating thing about the whole date was that the whole evening Brian didn't give me one compliment. The next day in church, however, he got up and bore his testimony to the entire ward about how beautiful all the girls were and he didn't realize they had that potential. Wait? ALL the girls? That POTENTIAL? If Brian was trying to pay me an underhanded compliment, he didn't do a very good job. And if he thought I looked beautiful, why couldn't he say that to my face?
That night Brian sent me a note that said "Thanks for the date. I had a lot of fun. Heart, Brian."
Heart, Brian? Do guys normally use a heart when writing girls?
Anyway, although I had a fun time on the date, it made me realize a couple things: 1) I feel like I still want to get to know Brian better, because I don't think I got to know him at all and 2) Maybe I need to stop being attracted to funny guys! Unless they have the depth to go with it!
What do you all think?

The Date-O-Matic Spits Out a Date for Me!

On Sunday, the results of the Date-O-Matic 3000 were revealed. Unfortunately the computer program didn't work, so the 2nd counselor of the bishopric and his wife had a jolly old time matching us up with dates. They revealed the dates to the guys on Sunday, but we girls weren't supposed to know who they were until they asked us.
I was thinking more and more about the guys I put on my list, and I realized that out of all of them, I really wanted to go with #4, who I'll call Brian, to be my date. The reasons for this are 1) I already know him fairly well and 2) He is HILARIOUS and I think I would have a ton of fun, which 3) would create more blogging material!
My mysterious date stopped by on Tuesday to ask me, but I wasn't home. My roommates wouldn't tell me who it was, but because they were so excited about it (and because everyone else on my list had dates), I assumed it was Brian. He tried again today, but once again I wasn't home. My roommates told him to call me instead. Meanwhile I was sitting at a meeting for the student journal I work for, and got a call from Brian. It went something like this:
"Hey, this is Brian. How are you?"
"Good. How about you?"
"What are you doing Saturday night?"
"Going to the dance, I guess." (Obviously. I know why you're calling...)
"Do you have a partner yet?"
"Nope." (Obviously not. You were the one set up to be my date!)
"Will you accompany me?"
"Sure."
Awkward pause.
"You do know who this is, don't you?" (I don't know why he asked this. Was it because he really thought I would reject him? Was it because I didn't seem surprised that he'd asked me? [because I wasn't; like I said, I was expecting it]).

It was pretty hilarious that he didn't know how to ask me out for a date that was already set up. I can only imagine how it would go if he had been asking me out on his own; he probably would have had a heart attack.
So I am super pumped about going with Brian! I am probably one of the few people who appreciates his sense of humor, but seriously, he really is one of the funniest people I know. Just to give you a taste of what the date is going to be like, here are some of the things he said in Sunday School a few weeks ago (yes, I wrote them down):
"You know how I hate movie analogies...but...the prophets are like Gandalf and Obiwan."
About putting on the armor of God: "The pecs of righteousness." "You could probably use the shield like a weapon, like, BOOM! SMASH YOU!"
Okay, so these quotes make Brian sound like a bit of an idiot. But he actually is quite smart and witty. It's just hard to take him seriously sometimes when he's so dang funny.
So get ready for the post of your life after Saturday's date. It's going to ROCK!

How the Date-O-Matic 3000 Won Kylie's Heart

When this "make a list of 5 people and we'll set you up" idea was first brought up in a leadership meeting I audibly said "NO!" Half the counsel jumped down my throat telling me what a great idea it was.
So I was ethically against this idea for a while. I claimed that obviously no one was interested in going to dance with me since no one in the ward asked girls to a required guy ask girl stake dance a week ago. I was sick of people forcing guys to date and holding their hand. Shouldn't they WANT to date after all??
After griping a bit and being urged to give it a try from the bishop himself, I have to admit, the Date-O-Matic 3000 is growing on me. In fact, I think it's great! Couples picked by the system from the ward have started to emerge, and all of them are extremely compatible! I wouldn't have thought of them myself, but when put together by the Date-O-Matic, it's great! Even the process of choosing 5 guys made me see the merits of some of the guys in my ward, almost as if I was having pity on them or something. I've never seen going on a date as a huge deal, so this became a good chance to just have fun, get some excitement going, and seeing what happens for a fun risk-free no-feelings-get-hurt evening.
But the best thing about the Date-O-Matic? Everyone gets a date! Even when I'm dating up a storm, few things get me more frustrated than my awesome girl friends not dating at all. My philosophy is thus: "every girl deserves to be pursued." Unlike the stake dance, with the Date-O-Matic, my worries are gone! I don't have stress out about me or my awesome friends getting a date, it's guaranteed.
Apparently my date-to-be stopped by tonight, but I missed him. Certain roomies will not tell me who said man is, but I think at this point I feel pretty good about leaving it up to the ol' date-o.

Nobody Loves Me

My greatest temptation is to believe that no boys like me. Sure, I go on dates, but obviously I'm still a member of the VLC, I've never had a serious boyfriend, and Ben throwing the "I don't like you even I told you I did" card in my face certainly didn't help. The fact is, I often feel like I need evidence as solid as a boy coming right out and saying "Kylie, I like you" to believe I have hope of being loved by males, and since Ben I need evidence even more solid than that.
In my recent lapse of trust I came to realize that even though Michael has been asking me on dates, he could be pulling a Ben and using me to adjust to dating life after his mission. That was an ugly possibility. Especially since it is so likely to be true since he loves what he is comfortable with, and of course he is comfortable with the girl he has known since he was 2, the girl he went on his first date ever with.
I have intuitively refrained from inviting Michael to do pretty much anything. Probably because after Ben accused me of being way too interested in him even though he was the one asking me out all the time, I'm afraid to do anything even slightly aggressive. So it was shaking things up when I invited Michael over tonight to watch Rio with the roomies (G rated movies are right up his alley).
After the movie, the conversation inevitable turned to dating, and he said a few things that supported my new theory that he has been asking me out because of comfort rather than interest. He was talking about the value of group dates because you could meet other girls to date, how he wanted his sister to get married before him, unless the situation came along, and some awkward date he went on with someone other than me this semester. I just don't think you would talk about those things in front of a girl you are super interested in. I did tell him on our last date that he had made me feel like a last resort, and he apologized profusely. But he didn't recant the fact that he was thinking about asking another girl and he asked me because I was fun to be around.
So if Michael isn't interested in pursuing me, it leaves me wondering...is ANYONE? I've always looked back on my past and been able to name many boys who have liked me, but is that just my perspective? Am I, like Ben, just thinking what I want to think? I could argue that most of them actually didn't.
I know for sure that I am less interested and more frustrated and the boy is less interested if I am the one pursuing, so I never do. But I'm left with the question, will anyone ever step it up and pursue me, because I can only do so much. Somehow I've got to convince myself that even if nobody loves me, somebody will.

What to Do When Your Friends are Dropping Like Flies...

Well, y'all (I don't know why I said that because I'm not from Texas), we're still waiting for our dates from the Date-O-Matic-3000 to call, so we'll keep you updated on that. In the meantime, let me muse on a word called the "M" word...MARRIAGE.
I'm perfectly content to be single until I start getting outside pressure from supporters of the M word. Just this week at Thanksgiving, I overheard my cousin joking that another cousin was starting to become an old maid, and that my aunts have been desperately trying to set her up with eligible bachelors. Well, she's 24, folks...just a few months older than me.
Being around my relatives really pushes the M word in my face, because almost all of my cousins my age are married, and have been for a while. Which is cool...it works for them...but then it leaves all my aunts and uncles thinking, "What's wrong with that girl?"
And then there's the pressure that comes from living in Provo and going to BYU. It seems like every talk we hear at church and other meetings is about dating or some other form of the M word. They even trick us; I went to a fireside (Sunday night church meeting) where the speaker was advertised to be talking about "the effects of the media". Well, he talked about "the effects of the media on dating".
Then there's my friends. They're all jumping on the marriage bandwagon, and my fridge is plastered in wedding announcements. Over half of my former roommates are engaged or married.
So what's my problem? Am I a late bloomer? Have I not found the right guy yet (or, as my anti-soulmate professor would say, "a" right guy)? Does my breath smell bad?
To be determined, I suppose. But in the meantime I'll enjoy being single and not rush into anything that I would regret. And maybe buy some breath freshener.

My Humble Opinion on the Date-O-Matic 3000

Okay, so as Erin has previously written, our Ward is having a Ward Formal and our dates are being picked through a computer system. And I bet you are all dying to know how I feel about that? Well here it goes:
At first, I was pretty ticked off. I did not feel very comfortable with someone knowing who I may or may not be interested in in the Ward. I also did not want to get set up with someone that I really did not want to go with--I mean I LOVE to dance and I wanted to have a dang good time, plus I was probably going to get a little done up for the occasion, so I kind of wanted my date to be someone I was interested in, eh? Then I started panicking, "What if no one put me on their list?" "I bet no one put me on their list." "I'm not going, I don't want to be a pity date. I just want to dance and have fun, WHY does it have to be a DATE thing?!?" Needless to say, I wasn't very positive in my thoughts about this Ward Formal disaster. I seriously could NOT think of who to put down for my top 5 guys, I mean really?! They don't have enough guts to just ask us on their own?? But, I guess I could sort of see where the Ward was coming from...it might happen that not everyone would get a date or go-I just wish there was a different way to go about this fiasco.
Anyway, we should all be getting our phone calls within the next few days since the dance is a week from tomorrow [Saturday] and when we do, we will let you know how that all goes down, 'till then wish us luck!

The Divine Date

Dating is a funny thing. There are girls that will change themselves to accommodate their date/boyfriend, girls that will fluff up his ego to show their interest in the guy, girls that will over-analyze everything with her friends about what a guy says or does along with how she reacted, girls that need a boy to fulfill their happiness, girls that don't care, girls that are super flirtatious, girls that aren't sure how to receive guys' social cues, and the list goes on and on. So that left me to wonder where I was on this huge spectrum of girls. This week I found out a more solid answer to that inquiry. First, I have always thought of myself as an independent girl that does not need a man to make me happy, though I have to add that they are nice to have in your life. My dad has always taught me that I don't need a guy to make me happy, my mom always told me that I have great characteristics and that someday I will find some guy that really loves my quirks. [It definitely came out a lot nicer whenever she said it...she's very sensitive and sweet]. My brothers are some of my greatest friends--I am very close to my sisters as well, but I tended to hang out with the guys instead--therefore I have often been seen as one of the guys, a role I fulfilled with eagerness, it was a role I have been familiar with, one that I am comfortable with.

Anyway, this week has been quite eventful especially in helping me find out how guys that I date interact with how I feel about myself. Let's start with Tuesday, I was contemplating asking Ryan [the boy from the "Swap Date"] on a date with me. I have no issue asking a guy on a date; that's just how I've always been, because I've hung out with them most of my life, they don't scare me--they only do, if I'm really interested in them. Therefore I was slightly confused at why I felt the need to ask Ryan on a date. But I did. So we went on a date on Wednesday, we went to Divine Comedy [for all of you that do not know what Divine Comedy is, I shall explain to the best of my knowledge. It is a comedy routine at BYU that is totally clean and usually are parodies of Harry Potter and things of that nature and they add in a little Latter-day Saint humor] together. It was my first time going to Divine Comedy [DC] and Ryan loves DC. We had a BLAST, we talked and laughed until our stomachs ached; he said that he had a great time and that it was fun to go with me. [Note: I am writing this well after the fact and he has constantly said this and has also quoted some DC skits whenever he sees me]. Also, he attacked me in the Library--this meaning he scared me which is just part of Ryan's personality.

I learned a couple things about myself on this date: I am content with who I am and if Ryan's interested in me: GREAT, if not: Eh, no big deal...though he'll be missing out because I'm pretty awesome!!

The Date-O-Matic 3000

So someone in our ward (church group) thought that all of us weren't dating enough (brilliant deduction, eh?) and decided to form a ward date. This is how it works:
All the girls must submit the names of 5 guys they are interested in going out with, and the guys must do the same for girls. The bishopric enters all the names into a computer program that analyzes the results and spits out couples. Once the couples are formed, the guys are told who their date is, and then they must ask the girl formally.
Our apartment had several reactions to this contrived date:
Kylie: "This is a dumb idea. I'm asking out Michael instead."
Erin: "What if no one puts me on their list? Then it's going to be all awkward, like, 'So, you put me on your list, huh?' Or I could just put down that I'll go with whomever, which could also be a disaster."
Lynette: "What if the gossip gets out and everyone in the ward finds out who I wrote down?"
Katelyn: "It's pretty dumb that the boys won't ask us out unless they are forced to."
So we found ourselves going through the "ward menu", aka directory of people in the ward, to pick out who we wanted to date.
I, for one, did not pick the guys I'm closest to. Instead, I put random guys I might want to get to know better, two of whom I've only met once. I figured that I might as well add to the awkwardness.
So finding out who we're all going with is going to be like Christmas.
Or maybe a nightmare.
Or maybe the nightmare before Christmas.
To be continued...

Michael's Apology

I got a call tonight from Michael and the sole purpose of his call was to apologize for making me feel like a last resort on Saturday. He had already apologized when I brought it up and that was good enough for me, but he was feeling really guilty and wanted to say how sorry he was again.
I was so touched! What a tender soul. Sure he doesn't play the dating game perfectly, but I can't imagine Ben apologizing to me for something he did wrong in A MILLION YEARS. I can't even imagine him admitting he did something wrong!
We ended up talking on the phone for 49 minutes and 11 seconds (yes I checked my phone afterwards) and as I've said before I love our conversations. When we are just talking, he is the easiest to talk to, most interesting person ever. And he told me how much he loved talking to ME because I always give him interesting new insights to think about and he thinks about what I said for days afterwards and tries to evaluate if he needs to change. Wow.
Of course I accepted his apology and told him it wasn't even necessary and he should stop feeling guilty.
He invited me to go to his sister's concert on Thursday. I didn't give a solid yes but he definitely deserves more chances.