Okay, here's a topic up for debate. How much initiative should a girl take in dating?
I will illustrate this with scenarios from what I've observed:
1. Girl likes boy. Girl is aggressive toward getting what she wants. Girl flirts with boy, gives boy desserts, asks boy on dates, etc.
Girl gets boy?
2. Girl likes boy. Girl waits for boy to take the initiative and ask her out. Girl is friendly with boy. Girl hints that she would like to spend time with boy. Boy doesn't get hint. Boy doesn't take the initiative.
Girl doesn't get boy.
3. Girl likes boy. Girl hides that she likes boy. Girl waits for a miraculous moment when boy will ask her out.
Boy gets other girl.
None of these scenarios seem very appealing to me, one who is not willing to flirt my face off trying to get a boy to like me. Although I haven't been opposed to asking boys out in the past, lately I have had the attitude that I want the boys to take the initiative. Which sometimes works...but not often.
Lynette and Kaitlyn have suggested a "swap date", where we each ask out another person's date for them. I'm not sure how I feel about this and how it fits into my recently-discovered dating philosophies. But then again, those philosophies are not helping me to get any dates, nor are they helping me to shed my VL ring.
I need some opinions here. Should I be aggressive? Is it a turn-off to boys if the girl asks them out first? Should I wait for the boys to make the first move? Or should I take matters into my own hands?
Four beautiful women, two bedrooms, one bath, and zero boys. Add in the fact that we're all waiting for our first kiss and you've got blogging gold! We are Erin, Katelyn, Lynette, and Kylie, and we are members of the Virgin Lip Club.
Do not lose heart- not every boy likes it when a girl takes the initiative! Some boys may want to make the first move, and others may feel just as shy as you do and would have no problem having the girl make the first move. However- don't refrain from reciprocating if you notice the boy is trying to get to know you better. :) There's no harm in getting to know someone, and you never know- maybe you'll surprise yourself and fall for someone that you didn't think was your type! :)
ReplyDeleteI've only ever done #3. You shouldn't do it! It doesn't work! I think the swap-date sounds like a good idea. It's a lot easier to ask out a boy for someone else than for yourself!
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