To Be Pursued

It's Christmas break, meaning that no dating is going on for the four of us. Being back at home for Christmas break, especially in a new house where I didn't grow up, isn't giving me many chances for dating. But I did want to share a little realization I've come to: I want to be pursued! No, not by a stalker or a crazy, but by a guy I'm actually interested in.
Talking to my best friend from high school about her new boyfriend reminded me that the good old fashioned dating system can actually work! They started out as friends just spending time together, then he became interested in her. She was also a bit interested in him, but unsure. He asked if they wanted to date and she didn't know so he held off. He wasn't buggy about it nor did he run away in fright, but he was patiently persistent. Finally, after a month or so, she realized that if she didn't date him, she would be forever comparing other guys to him and wishing they were as awesome as him. So she agreed to date him, and they've both been happy ever since.
I realize that the only times I've been pursued is when I'm not interested in the guy or when the guy isn't interested in a serious relationship. I'm tired of guys who wait around for girls to pursue them. Let's go back to the traditional courtship culture a little bit.
Oh, to be pursued.

Who Would Have Thought?!

The Ward Formal is a thing of the past; however, I did not have the opportunity to fill ya'll in on how my fate turned out. Well, the days leading up to the dance were quite unpleasant for me. Kylie, Erin, and Katelyn all had dates by the alleged last day that the boys could ask us; I, on the other hand, was dateless. Which was fine with me--I had loads of essays to write and didn't see the point of going to the Ward Formal anymore; I HAD to write those seven essays or else. Well, Thursday came and I still had no date or even a prospect of one, so I figured I was free to write my essays and sleep in and prepare for last minute midterms and finals. Gosh, I shouldn't make plans. Thursday night at around 10:30 there was a knock on the door. I was sitting on the floor--why the floor, I'm not sure??--finishing up two of my papers when this strange boy entered my apartment. Katelyn and I looked at each other--Who is this?? Well he introduced himself as Will. He said that he was my date for the dance. Okay. Will was from a different Ward and so I had no idea who he was or what he was like. This could be interesting.

Well, whether I liked it or not, the dance was upon me. And may I just say that I looked hot! Will arrived and then we went to the Church--this is where we were having the dance. Everyone was all decked out to the nines and the Church was decorated so nicely...blah, blah, blah...Okay. To the good parts. Will and I got along right from the get-go. He was really funny and nice. We danced and had icing wars and in the end I had a GREAT night! I'm definitely glad that I went. Now, I'm not interested in Will--not THAT way. He's a great guy and really fun to be around, but I'm currently not interested in any boy from the Ward or in Utah. My interests are otherwise occupied in another state that is dear to my heart! ;) But because of the Ward Formal, I made a new friend! Who would have thought?! Not me.

My Faith in Boys is Restored

FINALLY I went on a date that restored my faith in the male gender! Now I know there ARE good guys out there who DO know how to date! Let me begin at the beginning...
Thursday night I was watching Anne of Green Gables with some girl friends at my friend's apartment. Unbeknownst to us, her roommate decided to invite about 20 loud guys over for cupcakes, so we had to relocate our girls' night. After searching in vain for an available TV, we asked a guys' apartment if we could watch it there. Some of them watched the movie with us and a couple of them even enjoyed it and want to finish it with us! While I was there, my friend Henry asked if I was doing anything the next day and if I wanted to go out with him. He is an awesome guy but I haven't been super interested in him before because I thought a million other girls were interested in him.
On Friday night we went to see Christmas lights at a park, then got hot chocolate. The only regret I have about the date was that it wasn't long enough! Henry was so nice, so funny, and so interested in me and my life. In other words, he knows how to date! He kept making stupid puns which I thought were funny, and we were able to joke around without making things uncomfortable. I would totally go out with Henry again if he asked. Hurray for good dates!

Ward Dance Date: Fun Yet Frustrating

I know you've all been waiting by your computers in agony for the results of the ward date on Saturday. I'm sorry I have disappointed you, but I've been a little overwhelmed with schoolwork. But now the papers are turned in, finals loom before me, and I will let you know of the details of the date.
Before the big date, Kylie, Katelyn, Lynette, and I spent some time doing our hair, fixing out make-up, painting our nails...the works. After we were done, I thought, "Dang, we look hot! Why don't we always look this good?" Then I remembered why: 1) I'm always late so I'm lucky if I have time to pull my hair back and 2) I don't really care that much on normal days.
Anyway, our dates all came to the door about the same time, except for Katelyn's date, who came a little early and was shooed away by Kylie (poor guy). It was quite hilarious watching our entire ward (who all pretty much live in the same apartment complex) all walking to the church building together with our dates. And the ol' date-o did a good job; I kept ooing and awing over couples that were formed that seemed just perfect!
The evening was well-planned and quite fun. We started out with dinner (unfortunately, it was lasagna; fortunately, it didn't get on my dress). Brian and I talked for a long time about our lives. Like I mentioned, Brian is a very funny person, and is always trying to get attention by making hilarious/controversial comments. I was hoping it would be different getting to know him one-on-one. Well, although Brian told me a lot about his life, I don't feel like I know any more about who he is. He kept trying to be witty (which I appreciate) but in a critical way (which I don't appreciate).
Although the dinner left me a bit frustrated because Brian is just such a confusing person, the rest of the night was a lot of fun. We made a 2-story gingerbread house together, learned how to dance the cha-cha, played some card games, and danced the night away to songs such as the Party Rock Anthem.
I tried hard not to laugh as nearly our entire ward had simultaneous doorstep scenes at the end of the date. My doorstep scene with Brian was made all the more awkward because I tried to give him a hug while balancing our gingerbread house in one hand.
The most frustrating thing about the whole date was that the whole evening Brian didn't give me one compliment. The next day in church, however, he got up and bore his testimony to the entire ward about how beautiful all the girls were and he didn't realize they had that potential. Wait? ALL the girls? That POTENTIAL? If Brian was trying to pay me an underhanded compliment, he didn't do a very good job. And if he thought I looked beautiful, why couldn't he say that to my face?
That night Brian sent me a note that said "Thanks for the date. I had a lot of fun. Heart, Brian."
Heart, Brian? Do guys normally use a heart when writing girls?
Anyway, although I had a fun time on the date, it made me realize a couple things: 1) I feel like I still want to get to know Brian better, because I don't think I got to know him at all and 2) Maybe I need to stop being attracted to funny guys! Unless they have the depth to go with it!
What do you all think?

The Date-O-Matic Spits Out a Date for Me!

On Sunday, the results of the Date-O-Matic 3000 were revealed. Unfortunately the computer program didn't work, so the 2nd counselor of the bishopric and his wife had a jolly old time matching us up with dates. They revealed the dates to the guys on Sunday, but we girls weren't supposed to know who they were until they asked us.
I was thinking more and more about the guys I put on my list, and I realized that out of all of them, I really wanted to go with #4, who I'll call Brian, to be my date. The reasons for this are 1) I already know him fairly well and 2) He is HILARIOUS and I think I would have a ton of fun, which 3) would create more blogging material!
My mysterious date stopped by on Tuesday to ask me, but I wasn't home. My roommates wouldn't tell me who it was, but because they were so excited about it (and because everyone else on my list had dates), I assumed it was Brian. He tried again today, but once again I wasn't home. My roommates told him to call me instead. Meanwhile I was sitting at a meeting for the student journal I work for, and got a call from Brian. It went something like this:
"Hey, this is Brian. How are you?"
"Good. How about you?"
"What are you doing Saturday night?"
"Going to the dance, I guess." (Obviously. I know why you're calling...)
"Do you have a partner yet?"
"Nope." (Obviously not. You were the one set up to be my date!)
"Will you accompany me?"
"Sure."
Awkward pause.
"You do know who this is, don't you?" (I don't know why he asked this. Was it because he really thought I would reject him? Was it because I didn't seem surprised that he'd asked me? [because I wasn't; like I said, I was expecting it]).

It was pretty hilarious that he didn't know how to ask me out for a date that was already set up. I can only imagine how it would go if he had been asking me out on his own; he probably would have had a heart attack.
So I am super pumped about going with Brian! I am probably one of the few people who appreciates his sense of humor, but seriously, he really is one of the funniest people I know. Just to give you a taste of what the date is going to be like, here are some of the things he said in Sunday School a few weeks ago (yes, I wrote them down):
"You know how I hate movie analogies...but...the prophets are like Gandalf and Obiwan."
About putting on the armor of God: "The pecs of righteousness." "You could probably use the shield like a weapon, like, BOOM! SMASH YOU!"
Okay, so these quotes make Brian sound like a bit of an idiot. But he actually is quite smart and witty. It's just hard to take him seriously sometimes when he's so dang funny.
So get ready for the post of your life after Saturday's date. It's going to ROCK!

How the Date-O-Matic 3000 Won Kylie's Heart

When this "make a list of 5 people and we'll set you up" idea was first brought up in a leadership meeting I audibly said "NO!" Half the counsel jumped down my throat telling me what a great idea it was.
So I was ethically against this idea for a while. I claimed that obviously no one was interested in going to dance with me since no one in the ward asked girls to a required guy ask girl stake dance a week ago. I was sick of people forcing guys to date and holding their hand. Shouldn't they WANT to date after all??
After griping a bit and being urged to give it a try from the bishop himself, I have to admit, the Date-O-Matic 3000 is growing on me. In fact, I think it's great! Couples picked by the system from the ward have started to emerge, and all of them are extremely compatible! I wouldn't have thought of them myself, but when put together by the Date-O-Matic, it's great! Even the process of choosing 5 guys made me see the merits of some of the guys in my ward, almost as if I was having pity on them or something. I've never seen going on a date as a huge deal, so this became a good chance to just have fun, get some excitement going, and seeing what happens for a fun risk-free no-feelings-get-hurt evening.
But the best thing about the Date-O-Matic? Everyone gets a date! Even when I'm dating up a storm, few things get me more frustrated than my awesome girl friends not dating at all. My philosophy is thus: "every girl deserves to be pursued." Unlike the stake dance, with the Date-O-Matic, my worries are gone! I don't have stress out about me or my awesome friends getting a date, it's guaranteed.
Apparently my date-to-be stopped by tonight, but I missed him. Certain roomies will not tell me who said man is, but I think at this point I feel pretty good about leaving it up to the ol' date-o.

Nobody Loves Me

My greatest temptation is to believe that no boys like me. Sure, I go on dates, but obviously I'm still a member of the VLC, I've never had a serious boyfriend, and Ben throwing the "I don't like you even I told you I did" card in my face certainly didn't help. The fact is, I often feel like I need evidence as solid as a boy coming right out and saying "Kylie, I like you" to believe I have hope of being loved by males, and since Ben I need evidence even more solid than that.
In my recent lapse of trust I came to realize that even though Michael has been asking me on dates, he could be pulling a Ben and using me to adjust to dating life after his mission. That was an ugly possibility. Especially since it is so likely to be true since he loves what he is comfortable with, and of course he is comfortable with the girl he has known since he was 2, the girl he went on his first date ever with.
I have intuitively refrained from inviting Michael to do pretty much anything. Probably because after Ben accused me of being way too interested in him even though he was the one asking me out all the time, I'm afraid to do anything even slightly aggressive. So it was shaking things up when I invited Michael over tonight to watch Rio with the roomies (G rated movies are right up his alley).
After the movie, the conversation inevitable turned to dating, and he said a few things that supported my new theory that he has been asking me out because of comfort rather than interest. He was talking about the value of group dates because you could meet other girls to date, how he wanted his sister to get married before him, unless the situation came along, and some awkward date he went on with someone other than me this semester. I just don't think you would talk about those things in front of a girl you are super interested in. I did tell him on our last date that he had made me feel like a last resort, and he apologized profusely. But he didn't recant the fact that he was thinking about asking another girl and he asked me because I was fun to be around.
So if Michael isn't interested in pursuing me, it leaves me wondering...is ANYONE? I've always looked back on my past and been able to name many boys who have liked me, but is that just my perspective? Am I, like Ben, just thinking what I want to think? I could argue that most of them actually didn't.
I know for sure that I am less interested and more frustrated and the boy is less interested if I am the one pursuing, so I never do. But I'm left with the question, will anyone ever step it up and pursue me, because I can only do so much. Somehow I've got to convince myself that even if nobody loves me, somebody will.

What to Do When Your Friends are Dropping Like Flies...

Well, y'all (I don't know why I said that because I'm not from Texas), we're still waiting for our dates from the Date-O-Matic-3000 to call, so we'll keep you updated on that. In the meantime, let me muse on a word called the "M" word...MARRIAGE.
I'm perfectly content to be single until I start getting outside pressure from supporters of the M word. Just this week at Thanksgiving, I overheard my cousin joking that another cousin was starting to become an old maid, and that my aunts have been desperately trying to set her up with eligible bachelors. Well, she's 24, folks...just a few months older than me.
Being around my relatives really pushes the M word in my face, because almost all of my cousins my age are married, and have been for a while. Which is cool...it works for them...but then it leaves all my aunts and uncles thinking, "What's wrong with that girl?"
And then there's the pressure that comes from living in Provo and going to BYU. It seems like every talk we hear at church and other meetings is about dating or some other form of the M word. They even trick us; I went to a fireside (Sunday night church meeting) where the speaker was advertised to be talking about "the effects of the media". Well, he talked about "the effects of the media on dating".
Then there's my friends. They're all jumping on the marriage bandwagon, and my fridge is plastered in wedding announcements. Over half of my former roommates are engaged or married.
So what's my problem? Am I a late bloomer? Have I not found the right guy yet (or, as my anti-soulmate professor would say, "a" right guy)? Does my breath smell bad?
To be determined, I suppose. But in the meantime I'll enjoy being single and not rush into anything that I would regret. And maybe buy some breath freshener.

My Humble Opinion on the Date-O-Matic 3000

Okay, so as Erin has previously written, our Ward is having a Ward Formal and our dates are being picked through a computer system. And I bet you are all dying to know how I feel about that? Well here it goes:
At first, I was pretty ticked off. I did not feel very comfortable with someone knowing who I may or may not be interested in in the Ward. I also did not want to get set up with someone that I really did not want to go with--I mean I LOVE to dance and I wanted to have a dang good time, plus I was probably going to get a little done up for the occasion, so I kind of wanted my date to be someone I was interested in, eh? Then I started panicking, "What if no one put me on their list?" "I bet no one put me on their list." "I'm not going, I don't want to be a pity date. I just want to dance and have fun, WHY does it have to be a DATE thing?!?" Needless to say, I wasn't very positive in my thoughts about this Ward Formal disaster. I seriously could NOT think of who to put down for my top 5 guys, I mean really?! They don't have enough guts to just ask us on their own?? But, I guess I could sort of see where the Ward was coming from...it might happen that not everyone would get a date or go-I just wish there was a different way to go about this fiasco.
Anyway, we should all be getting our phone calls within the next few days since the dance is a week from tomorrow [Saturday] and when we do, we will let you know how that all goes down, 'till then wish us luck!

The Divine Date

Dating is a funny thing. There are girls that will change themselves to accommodate their date/boyfriend, girls that will fluff up his ego to show their interest in the guy, girls that will over-analyze everything with her friends about what a guy says or does along with how she reacted, girls that need a boy to fulfill their happiness, girls that don't care, girls that are super flirtatious, girls that aren't sure how to receive guys' social cues, and the list goes on and on. So that left me to wonder where I was on this huge spectrum of girls. This week I found out a more solid answer to that inquiry. First, I have always thought of myself as an independent girl that does not need a man to make me happy, though I have to add that they are nice to have in your life. My dad has always taught me that I don't need a guy to make me happy, my mom always told me that I have great characteristics and that someday I will find some guy that really loves my quirks. [It definitely came out a lot nicer whenever she said it...she's very sensitive and sweet]. My brothers are some of my greatest friends--I am very close to my sisters as well, but I tended to hang out with the guys instead--therefore I have often been seen as one of the guys, a role I fulfilled with eagerness, it was a role I have been familiar with, one that I am comfortable with.

Anyway, this week has been quite eventful especially in helping me find out how guys that I date interact with how I feel about myself. Let's start with Tuesday, I was contemplating asking Ryan [the boy from the "Swap Date"] on a date with me. I have no issue asking a guy on a date; that's just how I've always been, because I've hung out with them most of my life, they don't scare me--they only do, if I'm really interested in them. Therefore I was slightly confused at why I felt the need to ask Ryan on a date. But I did. So we went on a date on Wednesday, we went to Divine Comedy [for all of you that do not know what Divine Comedy is, I shall explain to the best of my knowledge. It is a comedy routine at BYU that is totally clean and usually are parodies of Harry Potter and things of that nature and they add in a little Latter-day Saint humor] together. It was my first time going to Divine Comedy [DC] and Ryan loves DC. We had a BLAST, we talked and laughed until our stomachs ached; he said that he had a great time and that it was fun to go with me. [Note: I am writing this well after the fact and he has constantly said this and has also quoted some DC skits whenever he sees me]. Also, he attacked me in the Library--this meaning he scared me which is just part of Ryan's personality.

I learned a couple things about myself on this date: I am content with who I am and if Ryan's interested in me: GREAT, if not: Eh, no big deal...though he'll be missing out because I'm pretty awesome!!

The Date-O-Matic 3000

So someone in our ward (church group) thought that all of us weren't dating enough (brilliant deduction, eh?) and decided to form a ward date. This is how it works:
All the girls must submit the names of 5 guys they are interested in going out with, and the guys must do the same for girls. The bishopric enters all the names into a computer program that analyzes the results and spits out couples. Once the couples are formed, the guys are told who their date is, and then they must ask the girl formally.
Our apartment had several reactions to this contrived date:
Kylie: "This is a dumb idea. I'm asking out Michael instead."
Erin: "What if no one puts me on their list? Then it's going to be all awkward, like, 'So, you put me on your list, huh?' Or I could just put down that I'll go with whomever, which could also be a disaster."
Lynette: "What if the gossip gets out and everyone in the ward finds out who I wrote down?"
Katelyn: "It's pretty dumb that the boys won't ask us out unless they are forced to."
So we found ourselves going through the "ward menu", aka directory of people in the ward, to pick out who we wanted to date.
I, for one, did not pick the guys I'm closest to. Instead, I put random guys I might want to get to know better, two of whom I've only met once. I figured that I might as well add to the awkwardness.
So finding out who we're all going with is going to be like Christmas.
Or maybe a nightmare.
Or maybe the nightmare before Christmas.
To be continued...

Michael's Apology

I got a call tonight from Michael and the sole purpose of his call was to apologize for making me feel like a last resort on Saturday. He had already apologized when I brought it up and that was good enough for me, but he was feeling really guilty and wanted to say how sorry he was again.
I was so touched! What a tender soul. Sure he doesn't play the dating game perfectly, but I can't imagine Ben apologizing to me for something he did wrong in A MILLION YEARS. I can't even imagine him admitting he did something wrong!
We ended up talking on the phone for 49 minutes and 11 seconds (yes I checked my phone afterwards) and as I've said before I love our conversations. When we are just talking, he is the easiest to talk to, most interesting person ever. And he told me how much he loved talking to ME because I always give him interesting new insights to think about and he thinks about what I said for days afterwards and tries to evaluate if he needs to change. Wow.
Of course I accepted his apology and told him it wasn't even necessary and he should stop feeling guilty.
He invited me to go to his sister's concert on Thursday. I didn't give a solid yes but he definitely deserves more chances.

Michael's Mistake. A Diamond in the Rough

I didn't have too high of hopes for my fourth date with Michael this semester, considering when he asked me he prefaced it with: "I couldn't think of anyone to go with so I thought of going by myself, but then I decided to ask you."
Not the greatest pick up line I've ever heard. (The greatest was one of the most serious guys I know who gave me a brownie, looked into my eyes and said 'Kylie, I just wanted you to know that you are really sweet to me. Just like this brownie.' That relationship ended pretty quick) ANYWAYS.
Michael didn't even pick me up for the concert, we met on campus where he had been studying. We were about to walk into the concert doors, we had our ticket's scanned and everything, when Michael stops and exclaims "Michelle!" and runs over to his friend from freshman year. They hug and talk. I knew her too and we said hi to each other and Michael said, "Wait, how do you two know each other?"

FLASHBACK!!
Three years ago to the day.
My freshman year.
My friend, Kevin, asked me to go to the very same concert with him. He showed up at my door at the appointed time. The problem? He showed up WITH MICHELLE! He introduced the two of us and off we went to the concert. I started hyperventilating silently the whole way there with thoughts dashing through my head: "Oh crap! Who is this extra girl?? How did I get roped into a poligadate? I THOUGHT it was a date! Oh, shoot if it's not a date I was probably supposed to buy tickets for this thing! I didn't buy tickets! What am I going to DOOO!"
When we got there the voice in my brain paused for long enough to notice Michael himself coming up to us. He had been studying on campus (deja vu!) and there he met up with HIS date, Michelle. I guess Kevin had just brought her along to give her a ride and because apparently we were doubling. He forgot to mention that detail.
Disaster abated.
And that is how I know Michelle.
Creepy thing is, Michelle is the only girl I know of Michael has been on a date with other than myself. And she looks A LOT like me. Coincidence? I don't know.

BACK TO THE PRESENT
Michelle and Michael talk, which is incredibly awkward for me since we are blocking the line and the lady who just scanned our ticket is kind of gaping at us. I apologize and push us out of the way a little bit. And then what Michael does next is possibly the most awkward thing I've ever experienced on a date. HE ASKS FOR MICHELLE'S NUMBER. Right in front of me! I was blushing I was so embarrassed!!
When we finally left the scene of the crime and were safely inside the concert hall Michael says "Oh no! I accidentally deleted Michelle's number!" Karma.
I tried not to be upset during the concert and I did calm down after some uplifting music. I decided I would have to be assertive and bring up the fact that I felt like a last resort some time pretty soon. That made me feel better and I was able to set aside my doubts and have a good time.
Awkwardness aside, I really enjoy being with Michael. I love talking to him. Which is why I am so tormented by him! I can't stand him, but I can't stay away either! It would be easy to ditch him if he wasn't so dang amazing!
After the concert he said "Do you want to make mini s'mores now?"
I said "Okay."
He said "I actually don't have any ingredients to make it though." Great. He also doesn't have a car.
I said "Well maybe I'll just go home and do homework..."
But we ended up going to the art museum next door and having a delightful time discussing folk art quilts.
When there are no other people and it's just the two of us talking, it's really pretty amazing. We have the greatest conversations. So great, in fact, that after talking for like 15 minutes in front of my complex he just suggested we walk a some more. I get really hungry so we grab jdawgs for dinner. I guess that was pretty nice of him to take me to dinner too.
When he finally dropped me off at home I was feeling a lot happier and more equipped to say what I knew I must say.
When he said "Thanks for coming with me!"
I replyed "Yeah, it was great. I hope I wasn't a last resort."
He said "Oh well I thought about asking someone else I didn't really know and having it be really awkward or going by myself, but then it just clicked that I should go with you. And I was actually really looking forward to it, I love being with you."
I said "Well I'm glad to know that's what you were thinking, because all you told me was that you were thinking about going with someone else or going by yourself and then decided to ask me, and it made me feel like a last resort."
He said "I SAID that to you. Kylie, I am SO SORRY. I didn't mean that at all. I spend my life saying dumb things and repenting for them."
I said "It's okay, just make sure to make me feel extra special next time."
He said "I will. Thank you so much for helping me out Kylie."
We hugged again and said goodnight. It was a really good confrontation. He wasn't offended at all, he laughed it off, was sincerely sorry, and committed to change. Wow. He really might be a cocoon in metamorphisis.
I guess all I have to do now is bring up asking girls for their numbers while we are on a date!
Despite his mistakes, Michael does have some pretty redeeming qualities. It's what keeps me coming back for more. I'd say he is a diamond in the rough. Or a caterpillar/butterfly thingy in his little cocoon. Whatever. It's almost as if he knows what to do that is just enough to keep me hanging on. Or maybe it's God who knows. For whatever reason it is, I'm still hanging on to my little diamond in the rough.

Airheaded Boys: Cocoons or Oblivion?

I've been noticing a common theme in the guys I've been interacting with lately. No matter who it is, they all seem to have the same quality. What is this uniting feature? They don't know what they are doing.
The biggest airhead in my life right now is Michael. I am so confused because I love him and I hate him at the same time. He is such an amazing guy, yet so infuriating because he doesn't know how to date and for some reason always throws a wrench in the operation. He asks me on dates, yet is sometimes painfully awkward, and clearly not ready for a relationship. The first few dates he didn't even walk me to the door. On one he said "Well...I don't think I really have time to walk you to the door." Okay. Today he asked me on our fourth date of the semester. Good job Michael. BUT when he asked me he said "Oh I just couldn't think of who to ask, so I was thinking about going to this concert alone..." BAD job Michael! Either you want to go with me, so you ask me and leave out the internal debate, or you just go alone!
But the airheadedness doesn't stop with Michael, oh no.
Just tonight, my friend in town from BYU-Idaho called me no less than three times. Each time I was left wondering why he called in the first place.
Example phone conversation:
Me: "Hey Mike, what's going on?"
Mike: "Well....I don't know....what are you doing?"
I tell him I'm basically free.
Mike: "Oh, okay... well I don't know what I'm doing."
Me: "Okay....what do you want to do?"
Mike: "I don't know. I'm going to Lehi with my friend and his girlfriend" (and he didn't know what he was doing?)
Me: "Um...okay, do you want me to come or something."
Mike: "Uh....nah I don't know it's okay...it would probably be weird"
Me: "Okay.......well....I'll see you later...."
What was the point of that call? To make me feel bad that I'm not doing anything and tell me it would be weird if I went with him and another couple to Lehi? I don't know. I don't think he does either.
I still honestly don't think Dean (see The One Week Challenge and The One Week Challenge: A Follow-Up. They are quite funny) realizes girls exist yet. If I come over he will be excited to see me, but the second he sees a mountain bike, he practically cries with joy. He is so sweet and well meaning in his calling with me, but when I ask him to do something he will pretend he has no idea what he is doing.
Example, at a meeting with our committee:
Me: "Okay friends, Dean will start our meeting"
Dean: "What? Uh, well we didn't plan this and we have no clue what we're doing...so I don't know..."
Me: "We know what we are doing. We planned this before"
Dean: "Oh, okay well let's pray"
After the prayer, Me: "Okay, Dean has the spiritual thought"
Dean: "Oh I do? I didn't know"
Me: "Dean, you just prepared one, I was there."
Dean: "Oh yeah, well I guess we'll talk about..."
So sad.
But these boys are wonderful men! They can't be COMPLETELY oblivious! So I, with they help of a friend, who had a breakup because of this phenomenon, have developed a theory to grasp this mystifying behavior.
They are in cocoons. When I explained this to another friend she said "Yup. I'm dating a cocoon."
There is clearly only room for one in these cocoons and they are so self conscious they can't even think about girls. I sure hope they emerge as beautiful butterflies. Maybe I'll be unworthy for them then, because they all have hearts of gold. But in the meantime, I really have to wonder. Are they really completely oblivious? Or are they in cocoons? I pray for the latter.

Oil is to Water as Love is to Homework

I’ve heard somewhere that the most unproductive and detrimental semester in a BYU student’s career is the one just after they get engaged.  My first reaction when I heard that was to think to myself, “Yeah right, if I ever manage to get engaged, it will be such a weight off my shoulders that school will be a cinch!”  However, as I’ve tried my hand at introspection each time I’ve had a minor crush on some boy, I’ve come to realize it’s not going to be that easy. Not that I’m saying I’m going to get engaged anytime soon.  I can’t even get a boy to ask me out on a date, let alone ask me to spend the rest of my life and eternity with him.  But despite all my big talk about not needing a man, being too busy with school work and/or waiting for the man to step up to the plate, I find myself caught in that old familiar trap of crushing on some boy.  And despite all my attempts to approach the situation with a practical and emotionally level head, I still find myself stuck in the same silly quick sand of day-dreaming in the weirdest fashion about said boy which leads to a profound lack of productivity on my part, thus proving that statistic I heard somewhere.

Let me start off by saying, I blame Lynette.  You see my current squeeze, who has been dubbed Jake for the time being, has been in the ward at least as long as I have and I remember being introduced to him within my first week in the ward.  He’s a really nice guy and very attractive (so much so that I recently heard it said that every girl in the ward at some point or another has a crush on good ol’ Jake) and I’ve thought many times in the past that I could be interested if he ever seemed inclined to be interested in me.  However, I would watch him interact with other girls and then compare that to how he would interact with me and decide that he couldn’t possibly be interested, so I moved on.   Come to find out, he’s my home teacher this semester.  Given that I’ve already decided he’s not interested that shouldn’t be a problem right?  Wrong.  After his first visit, Lynette says to me, and I quote: “Jake is totally into you!”  The power of suggestion being what it is, my mind took off with the numerous possibilities emanating from the potential truth of that statement.  That’s when the trouble started.  Thanks Lynette!

As Lynette has already recounted she and I shared a delightful evening on what she chose to call a “swap date”.  This meant that she found a guy to go on a date with me and I found one for her.  And who should she choose for me, but the one and only Jake.  The date was great fun, but it left me in a very unpleasant (at least for a die-hard stoic such as myself) state of twitterpation.  Ever since then, every move I make is carefully scrutinized by myself, my mother, my sisters and about 10 other people both before and after I make it; and, every move he makes undergoes the same strict regimen of scrutiny until I’m so tied up in impossible knots in a desperate effort not to trip and mess this up.  I find myself over-thinking every little gesture he makes, even though my rational mind keeps screaming that he has to be nice because he’s my home teacher.  What can it mean that he chose to walk on the same side of the middle railing on the stairs down off campus when he walked me home from the library late at night?  What sort of message is he trying to send when he responds almost instantaneously to texts that I send him?  What coded message can there be in a seemingly innocent invite to watch his intramural soccer game?  AHHHHHHHHHHH!  What does any of it mean?!

Having overly suggestive roommates who are prone to girly squealing at the slightest provocation doesn’t help matters either.  It seems there are two sides of me that are fighting the ultimate battle for supremacy here.  There is the calm, cool and collected left-brained side of me that craves logic and pragmatism in all things which usually enjoys the top spot in the pecking order.  Then there is the carefully closeted hopeless romantic side which likes to play games with my nerves by allowing perfectly disgusting bouts of girly giddiness to slip through the cracks a little too often of late.  The constant bickering between these two sides of my personality leaves me in a terribly unstable state resembling a slight case of paranoid schizophrenia and leading my roommates to not completely unfounded doubts about my mental health.  I’m afraid that until something definitive happens with Jake, I’m going to keep serving as living proof that “love” and homework don’t mix. 

Missionaries and Dating

Okay, so certain people thought I wasn't specific enough in my last post. So to answer your questions, all I did with my friend from the mission was eat dinner and talk. It was pretty casual. But in case some of you (especially those of you who aren't mormon) are wondering why it may feel somewhat weird/awkward/unusual to hang out with someone of the opposite gender who you met on the mission, I will tell you why.
First of all, let me clarify what it means to serve a mission in the LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; see www.mormon.org). Maybe you've seen those two young men with white shirts and nametags walking around your neighborhood. Serving a mission means you give up 18 months to 2 years of your life to be a full-time servant of the Lord. This means no talking to your family (besides letters), no hanging out with friends, no watching TV (besides religious movies), no having a normal job or school, and yes....NO DATING.
Why must missionaries follow such strict rules? Yes, the rules are difficult at first, but once you spend a little bit of time as a missionary you understand why, and following the rules becomes second-nature. It is a wonderful thing to dedicate all of your time to serving the Lord and serving other people without outside distractions. As you spend ten to twelve hours a day studying, teaching, and serving, you feel the greatest sense of joy you could ever feel.
So obviously, dating doesn't really fit in to the missionary lifestyle. When I went on my first date after getting back from the mission, I must say that it was a bit awkward. I hadn't been alone with a boy for eighteen months. Missionaries must at all times stay with a companion of the same gender, and if the two of you are teaching someone of the opposite gender, you must have someone else with you. Believe me, this prevents a lot of problems.
DO missionaries ever date? Well, if they do, they usually get sent home from their missions. I have met many a couple who has met on their mission, but they didn't date until after their mission.
I have a friend who served his mission in Germany. He really liked a girl who lived there, but he didn't date her until he came home. The night he got back from his mission, he called her. He started talking to her on the phone every night, and a week later, he proposed over the phone! Don't worry; this isn't the typical situation.
Anyway, hopefully all this explains why it was a little weird to spend time one-on-one with a guy I met on the mission when we were both missionaries. But now that we are "normal people" again, it wasn't that weird at all.
Next time you see a missionary, you will understand a little better what their life is like. So be kind to them. And listen to what they have to say.

The Non-Date

So I just hung out with a friend from the mission. I say hung out, and not date, for the following reasons:
1. I was the one who planned said hang out session
2. I was the one who drove there to meet him
3. We each paid for our own meals
Other than these three reasons, the following made it seem like a date:
1. We met for a planned activity
2. We talked for hours and had a great time
3. He texted me afterwards and said we should do something again
It makes me wonder though, what exactly is a date? Dating is definitely eroding these days. Instead of a long period of courtship, people just hook up, or hang out in groups until miraculously a guy and girl from the group decide that they like each other and magically start dating. Going on dates with various guys, then, makes you look like a total player...and that is what we do in Provo.
Our church leaders have told us many times that we are never going to find the right person to marry if we don't date different people and get to know them one-on-one before deciding who we want to pursue a relationship with. They define a date like this: a date must be:
1. Planned 2. Paired off 3. Paid for
Even in Provo, people have different definitions of what a date is, which makes you wonder whether the activity you just did was a date or not, and what the other person thought it was.
Basically, it makes for a confusing dating life.

Strat Approves of Steve and My...Marriage??

I called Steve on Wednesday, the day after I met Strat. I was kind of nervous but I thought "Do it! For the sake of the blog!" and pressed call!
Steve was really nice on the phone! We talked for exactly 17 minutes. He was really happy and excited I called. He said "Well I don't know if I can visit Strat tonight, but maybe tomorrow." I was thinking like within the next week, but hey the sooner the better right?
Steve said "What are you doing at 2 tomorrow?"
I said "Well I have a mentoring thing"
"Oh what's that?"
I started. "Well I really like mentoring, like I was an EFY Counselor this summer"
He said "Wait! You were an EFY Counselor?! SO WAS I!!!"
Of course I knew that after my thorough facebook stalkage and that is why I slipped that statement in in the first place, but I said "NO WAY!! That's CRAZY!" Haha! I'm so clever ;)
So we talked about that for a while. But the reason he asked me what I was doing is because he wanted to ask me out to lunch for the next day (Friday) before even knowing what I looked like! I guess the EFY comment did it!!

OUR LUNCH DATE

So the next day we went out to lunch! I was kind of nervous to meet him but I reminded myself that I'm awesome and went for it! I think it's funny I'm so opposed to blind dates and yet I set MYSELF up on one...sort of.
Anyways we met at the MOA and the first thing he did when he saw me is run up to me and hug me! Brave man!
We had such a delightful lunch. He truly is the squeaky clean mormon boy facebook implied- my favorite kind of boy! He loved his mission, and he told me about how much his testimony grew at EFY. It was fun to talk to him! So fun, in fact, that he ended up being late for class! I felt kind of bad but also awesome that he preferred me to Chemistry.
He suggested we visited Strat that very night! So we did.

WE VISIT STRAT

We went to visit Strat on that Friday night. He is SO FUNNY! He couldn't wait for us to come! He ran around the house tidying up attached to that oxygen tank.
He said "Now did you two meet because of me?!"
We looked at each other and laughed and said "Yeah"
Strat said "Well I formed a little friendship for the two of you didn't I?"
We found out basically everything about Strat. The man loves to talk and he can barely hear us anyways. His wife died a few years ago of cancer, and his son died when he was younger while doing service in Mexico. So sad. He told us story after story after story.
He loved talking about his wife and how much he loves her. He pulled out a box and said "Now I have some advice for the two of you if things progress as they should and when you get married"
MARRIED?! I didn't notice until then but Steve was sitting pretty close to me and practically lept away from me when he said "the m word!" Hallelujah! He is not a marriage-obsessed-BEN!
Noticing our alarm, Strat said "Well it has the potential to go there. Doesn't it Steve? Doesn't it?"
Steve stuttered and I was laughing.
Strat said "DOES IT? Yes or no??"
Steve stammered "Um we just met today!"
HAHA!
Strat said "Well. In these box are our love letters. When you two get hitched you need to read these love letters to each other on every anniversary! That will keep your relationship strong!"
We both agreed that that was good advice.
Strat proceeded to slowly read us a sappy 7 page love letter he had written his wife before they got married.
The designer in my almost wept over those beautiful love letters! They were from the 50's, written in beautiful cursive with dark black ink on gorgeous customized paper with the most beautiful stamps I've ever seen. What a treasure! Not only for their beauty but for the sweet messages in them. I don't know if I've heard anything so romantic in my life! I haven't even thought to dream of corresponding to someone with that kind of passion. It made me realize that we have completely lost touch of romance in our society. Everything is so over-saturated with sex, sex, sex and more sexual undertones that we have completely lost the sensuality of commitment and true love. Even the BYU environment is so full of options everywhere you turn you hardly have a hope of getting stuck on one boy. The simplicity of a love letter is lost in the rush to meet more and more options.
I had mentioned to Strat that I sang and he demanded I sing before I leave. He even started singing some of his requests in his gravelly monotoned voice. I almost died laughing! I sang him a couple of songs and he literally started crying. I was so touched! He requested love songs. He was still thinking about his "Georgia peach."
It was ridiculously hard to get away. Every time we said we had to go, he would launch into another story to stop us from leaving. I could tell Steve was dying. It was frustrating sometimes, but I love Strat and I can sense how much he enjoyed having us there.
We finally left mid-story after saying we had to leave about 9 times and spending about 3.5 hours listening to stories.
I absolutely loved our visit with Strat, but I was worried Steve was really freaked out after the marriage comment from Strat and/or anxious to leave after listening for that long.
I figure whatever happens I'm really happy I made friends with Strat and I'm excited to visit him in the future (he already invited us to a Les Mis watching party he is planning) and what happened with Steve made for a really good story.
But when I text Steve: "Thanks for coming with me! You are awesome!"
He text back: "Of course! I figured if we were going to get married next week, we ought to visit him together ;)"
So he did take our potential marriage in stride. What a relief! I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know it was an awesome weekend with Me, Steve and Strat Wendleboe.

Me, Steve, and Strat Wendelboe

So I've been craving old person interaction. I can only take interacting with college aged students for so long before I start running off to nursing homes. It's true. So imagine my delight when I grabbed dinner at The Cougareat before my late night class and saw a 90 year old man with an oxygen tank sitting alone at a table.

I introduced myself and asked if I could sit down. He said "Of course! I love having company!" His name is Strat Wendelboe (not changed). Although he couldn't always hear me and I had to repeat myself several times, we had a delightful conversation. He told me his wife recently had cancer and died. He lives in his house by himself and is bored and lonely. I said I wanted to visit him and he was so excited! He drew me a detailed map of his house on my napkin.

I said "Would you like my number Strat?"
He said "Yes of course! Here write it on this newspaper!"
As I wrote my number on the newspaper, I saw another entry on the newspaper. It said:
"Hey Strat! It was so nice to meet you! -Steve" with Steve's number and address.

"Woah! What kind of man takes the time to enjoy the company of a sweet old man," I thought to myself! I instinctively jotted down Steve's name and number on my napkin before I wished Strat goodbye (He said: "I can't wait for your call! I'll tidy up the house before you come visit me!") and left.

Of course the natural thing to do would be to call this Steve and visit our common friend Strat with him. When I told Erin and Elisa this story, they brought up the point that someone that nice has to be married. So we began our facebook stalkage.

According to facebook, not only is this guy clearly unmarried and single, he is also clearly, well...PERFECT (As far as facebook can tell anyways). He has a picture of him holding a baby as his profile picture. He (like me) was an EFY (Especially For Youth) counselor. His favorite music is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, EFY Music, and classical instrumentation. His favorite book is the Book of Mormon. His favorite movies are "The Testaments" "Toy Story" and "The Gordan B Hinckley Movie." He served a mission in Puerto Rico and the Caribbean. His relationship status is SINGLE. "His" website is mormon.org . AND he likes talking to sweet little old men for fun.

Is Steve too good to be true or does God like to reward you for looking out for his children with the number of a hot guy? All I know is, I'm calling Steve tomorrow FOR SURE!

First Date

So, Katelyn and I went on our "swap date" and it was a blast. I went with this boy whom we shall call Ryan and Katelyn went with Jake. We made pizzas together, then went to an arcade where we had a little friendly competition: Ryan and me against Jake and Katelyn. The competition was to see which couple could win the most tickets and whoever did received the other couples tickets as well to cash them in for a GRAND prize. Ryan and I were the winners!! We couldn't even believe our luck, especially considering I have none! After we collected our prizes which included dinosaurs and lots of sugar, we all played Laser Tag against 2 other couples. They beat us pretty bad. Well, they say "you win some and you lose some." Anyway, I know I had a great time. [Because we were pretty much with our date the entire evening, I can only say what Ryan and I talked about]. Ryan and I talked about our interests and we both LOVE the Disney movie Tangled; we both decided it is the best one so far. Overall, I had a great time talking with and getting to know Ryan. He is definitely a nice guy [and he's not too bad-looking, if I do say so myself ;) ] and I would definitely like to go on another date with him! We shall see, eh??

The Blind Date

Believe it or not, I had never been on a blind date. I guess I just don't seem like the type that people constantly want to set up with guys. But I've always wanted to go on a blind date, just to have the experience.
Last week my cousin Mark told me he wanted to set me up with his roommate. He asked me what kind of guy I liked, and I told him a guy who loved the gospel and honored his priesthood. Well, my cousin just laughed.
"Yeah, that's a give-in," he said. "I meant what do you want him to look like!" He then preceeded to laugh hysterically.
I didn't think it was that funny.
"Don't worry, Erin," said Mark. "I know you don't like gamers, and this guy isn't a gamer!"
Oh, so that's my only requirement.
But anyway, I wasn't really counting on this date going through...but two days after talking to my cousin, I got a call from Mr. Blind Date himself.
Our phone conversation was extremely awkward. What do you say to someone you've never SEEN? I got the impression that he was kind of a weird guy, but I tried not to have the wrong impression before I even met him. I mean, maybe I was the weird one.
"Mark told me you're really down to earth, and that you don't like gamers," he said.
Thanks, Mark. Thanks.
So the Blind Date, who I'll call Marshall, shows up tonight. I could tell that he wasn't really my type, but I decided to give it a try anyway.
First we went to the Malt Shop for hamburgers and shakes. I thought it was a bit weird that when he shut the car door for me, he asked me if I was clear before he shut it. Then he told me that a friend of his came back from a date with a bruised leg because her date slammed the door on her leg.
Ouch.
So the dinner at the Malt Shop went pretty well. At least we kept the conversation going for the most part. Then he asked me if I wanted to do something else. What could it hurt, right?
Next we went to a nickle arcade. We went around playing all the machines and winning all kinds of tickets. It was actually pretty fun. I felt like a kid again.
The best part of the date, I think, was launching my prize parachute man off the apartment balcony. He got stuck in a tree and we had to rescue him with a broom.
So now I can say I've been on a blind date. I'm not sure that it's the best way to find the right guy, especially when your cousin thinks your only requirement for a guy is that he's not a gamer...but at least I had a good time.
Mission accomplished.

I Date a Manipulative Weirdo Who Doesn't Want to Marry Me

So I haven't been posting for a long time because of a boy. Let's call him Ben. So I didn't even mention Ben in this blog, but he is a friend from freshman year who started asking me on dates. We were going on more and more dates while I was still going on a bunch of other dates. Things were going well and I figured we would start dating but I liked another guy (Michael) more the whole time. But Michael wasn't doing much so I was okay with seeing where things went with Ben.
We had been on like 4 dates and we had like 3 more lined up, we had told each other we liked each other (instigated by him) and then all the sudden Ben stops contacting me. I was okay with it because I figured he needed his space. We had plans for the weekend so we talked on the phone and he was acting super odd. So odd I asked if he wanted to come talk for a minute since he was on campus anyways.
Honestly, all I wanted to do was apologize if I had done something to hurt his feelings. I thought he might have been mad because I went on a second date with another guy that night or something. But HE thought I wanted to confess my undying love for him I guess because the first thing he did was force a DTR (Define the Relationship) on me as if it was my idea. I wasn't going to bring it up but I figured if he wanted one I guess it would be fine.
What ensued was hands down THE STRANGEST conversation I've ever had.
First he pressed me to tell him that I did want to date him and then he said he was changing his mind every day about what he wanted and that I had all the qualities he wanted in a (gulp) wife. He kept talking in terms of MARRIAGE not in terms of DATING. I wasn't seeing much past next week and he was thinking like ETERNITY. And in his "eternal thoughts" he had decided that he wanted to marry someone exactly like him. He said he would know who he wanted to marry within a couple days of knowing them and we'd known each other for too long. He also said he didn't think it was good to consult God about this because he would just let us make a decision and then approve or disapprove. I just can't agree with that...
I couldn't believe how much thought he had put into MARRYING me! I thought you were supposed to date someone before you consider marrying them...but when I said "Wait, what you are thinking about MARRIAGE?" he said "What do you THINK is on my mind Kylie, I just got back from my mission." I had no idea you should be able to know who your eternal companion is within a couple days of meeting them.
He said he loved being with me and spending time with me so in that way he LIKES me but he doesn't want to date me. And he never liked me even though he asked me on like seven dates and TOLD me he likes me. What the what?!
He said it was beneficial to him to spend time with me because I helped him learn how to socialize and date (he JUST got off his mission). I said "So basically, you were using me." He said "...Yeah I guess." Yikes...
And then he begged me to be his best friend. I said definitely not. He said "Why not Kylie?!" I said "Because I actually have a soul." He wanted to emotionally confide everything in each other, spend lots of time together, and do everything people do when they are DATING but he didn't want to date me. I can't handle that.
He also kept pressing me to tell him why I like him.
I feel very manipulated. I forgot why I never liked him at all freshman year and I remembered after that how he got girls to like him and then made it seem like they just were in love with him and he didn't like them back. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he had changed but he definitely hasn't. Poor boy's got a lot to learn. The poor girls he meets have a lot to put up with.
I feel like I just liked him in response to the way he acted towards me and since apparently that was never there my like for him just completely dissipated.
So I was over it and chalked it up to immaturity until I saw Ben had just posted on his friends wall, "there was a girl who was way too interested in me." Maybe I'm wrong but I figured when a guy asked you on like 7 dates, TELLS you he likes you and is ridiculously flirtatious it means he is the one interested in me and it's okay to develop interest in response. But I guess all that means is he doesn't like you at all.
FORTUNATELY I liked Michael way more the whole time I was "dating" Ben. Now I like him 100 times more! (Thank you Ben for making me appreciate sensitive guys!). AND me and Michael went on another sweet date tonight!!! He is so awesome. I guess slow and steady really does win the race!

Latin Lovin'

So this weekend I went Latin dancing, and got the most attention from boys I've had in a while. One guy even asked me to dance 3 times and asked me for my number. I was a bit taken-aback because he was almost TOO interested in me. But anyway, I've now apparently found the hotspot for boys. Maybe none of these boys are looking for more of a commitment beyond a few dances...but hey! It's fun for a night!

Thank You, Boys...Or Not

So I was editing articles for the student journal I'm on, and one of those articles was about dating and commitment...or the lack thereof. The article said that in one study, only 50% of college females reported having six or more dates their entire college career. Yikes!
Although this may be a little bit different at BYU, since we are encouraged/forced/pressured to date, dating is still pretty low. This is due to a variety of reasons:
1. Fear of commitment!!!
2. Hanging out (so much easier than dating)
3. Guys can be dumb

There you have it. The reasons why we aren't dating. But I think I've been on more than 6 dates during my college career, so I should feel better about myself, right? Right?

To be or not to be...aggressive

Okay, here's a topic up for debate. How much initiative should a girl take in dating?
I will illustrate this with scenarios from what I've observed:

1. Girl likes boy. Girl is aggressive toward getting what she wants. Girl flirts with boy, gives boy desserts, asks boy on dates, etc.
Girl gets boy?
2. Girl likes boy. Girl waits for boy to take the initiative and ask her out. Girl is friendly with boy. Girl hints that she would like to spend time with boy. Boy doesn't get hint. Boy doesn't take the initiative.
Girl doesn't get boy.
3. Girl likes boy. Girl hides that she likes boy. Girl waits for a miraculous moment when boy will ask her out.
Boy gets other girl.

None of these scenarios seem very appealing to me, one who is not willing to flirt my face off trying to get a boy to like me. Although I haven't been opposed to asking boys out in the past, lately I have had the attitude that I want the boys to take the initiative. Which sometimes works...but not often.
Lynette and Kaitlyn have suggested a "swap date", where we each ask out another person's date for them. I'm not sure how I feel about this and how it fits into my recently-discovered dating philosophies. But then again, those philosophies are not helping me to get any dates, nor are they helping me to shed my VL ring.
I need some opinions here. Should I be aggressive? Is it a turn-off to boys if the girl asks them out first? Should I wait for the boys to make the first move? Or should I take matters into my own hands?

The Second Date

This positive thinking thing really works guys! I decided I need to change my thought because thinking "I'm irresistable" is just overwhelming. It pulled so many guys into my life I couldn't handle it!

I wasn't sure what my new thought would be, but just tonight I decided I was going to go on a SECOND date. Low and behold, I got asked on a second date tonight. Right after thinking that. It was ANOTHER new guy (well not that new) from my hometown I'd gone on a date with this summer. We'll call him Walter.

p.s. I still love Dean even if he thinks I'm a rock. And also hasn't even asked me on a first date.
p.p.s. I use the word love VERY loosely
p.p.p.s. When I REALLY want out of the VLC I'm just going to decide someone will kiss me. I've got 3 months before New Years! It's going down!

The Secret

This burst of dating in my life came in about the time I started telling myself "I'm irresistable" like my friend Megan does and I actually started believing it. So I decided to ask "the universe" for a date on Friday to test out the theory presented in "The Secret" (that documentary we are watching). I had no plans whatsoever, but I believed I would be on a date!
So around 3 my friend Mark text me wanting to talk. He is my friend from freshman year. We had some drama between the two of us, and I'd forgotten I asked him to talk earlier in the week to get everything figured out. We had THE GREATEST TALK EVER. He wanted to take me out for dinner after that and then to a dance. Not gunna lie, it was a pretty romantic night. That date popped out of no where, and now I'm adding another guy to the growing list.
Not only did I get the date I asked for, I was asked for ANOTHER date on that very night! Remember Don, the smoothie man? We rescheduled for breakfast and went out this morning. He is so awesome. And he said he wants to go out again!
So if I keep going at this rate I'll be kicked out of the VLC in no time. These guys, they are just so awesome. I only have good things to say about them. So I'm just figuring things out and seeing how it plays out. I'm sure it will work out with somebody. It's great to have 3 dates a week (this really is an abnormal time, I went through a big drought before this semester), but really, I just want one boy. I'm just not sure which boy I want. Yet. Suggestions?
p.s. Dean and I are walking to church together tomorrow to get stuff done for our committee! Woohoo!

The Law of Attraction

Kylie isn't too happy that no one has been blogging but her. But the fact is that she has the only blog-worthy things going on in her life. I have too much going on right now, so there are 2 things that have been taking a backseat: 1) homework 2) social life. Number 2 is what leads to dates (theoretically, at least), so dating has not been happening.
Lately we've been talking a lot about positive thought. We watched this movie called "The Secret" that introduces the law of attraction: whatever you think about and focus on will be attracted to you. So if you're always worrying about the bad things then you will directly attract more of them into your life, but if you focus on positive thoughts, such as, "I will be really wealthy", then the universe aligns for you to get what you want. Your thoughts, then, can physically affect the world around you.
I'm not sure how much I believe this theory, but it's worth a shot. I am going to think, "The guys that I am interested in are interested in me and want to date me" for a couple weeks and see what happens. We'll see if this law of attraction works for romantic attraction.
Stay tuned for the results. First I need to find some guys I'm interested in...

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!!

SURPRISE!! I walked in my apartment yesterday to see that Erin had thrown me an awesome surprise birthday party! Even better (or worse...) pretty much ALL the guys I'm interested in right now were THERE! Talk about overwhelming! Cause right now there are a lot...it's raining men!
Okay let's back it up.
So I was at institute (a church class) talking to a guy, and a new guy in our ward, Don, was hovering and I could tell he wanted to talk to me. I didn't get to and I felt really bad. So I went to his apartment afterwards and just to talk to him and we had THE GREATEST CONVERSATION! I'm telling you, this guy is solid gold! He found out it was my birthday the next day and asked me if I wanted to make smoothies with him after I got out of class at 9.
On the night of my birthday I had that class with Michael. He invited me to go to ice cream afterwards. So we finally had our first single date! Yay! It was fantastic, we had the greatest conversations, and he is simply an amazing guy. We headed back to my apartment and when we got to the door, he knocked. After a sec I said "Hey, it's my apartment! We can just walk in!" So I opened the door and there was a roomful of my best friends in the world!
It was crazy to see all the guys I'm interested in at once! Very overwhelming. But I think I have chosen a top 3!
1. Michael
2. Don
3. David (the guy from freshman year I went on a date with a few posts back)
Oh by the way Don rainchecked smoothie-ness and for those of you rooting for Dean, he was there too.

The Swap

6:45 : Fifteen minutes before orchestra I take off and realize I lost to code to the lock of my cello! I didn't know what to do and time was ticking! I would be late to orchestra!
6:50 It dawns on me that my friend Garrett plays the cello! So I run up to his apartment while calling him.
6:52 I arrive at Garrett's and ask if I can borrow his cello. He agrees and I say "Shoot! Now I'm going to be super late and I can't carry this all the way! Would one of you please be able to give me a ride??"
Garrett has a dumbstruck look in his face for a second and then says: "Wait...I have guitar class...at 7. I don't have a guitar. Can I borrow yours Kylie?"
"Of course!!"
"I'll drive us there!"
CRAZY!
6:59 We roll into the busiest parking lot on campus right in front of the building we both need to go to. There is no way we are going to get a spot there! We start despairing and even though there are 3 cars right in front of us looking for spots, the car in the spot right to our left pulls out! It was a MIRACLE!
7:05 I gracefully arrive at orchestra the minute we start. It was such a crazy happening! I couldn't believe Garrett needed my guitar too!
I thought my day couldn't get much crazier but I was wrong! By a weird coincidence I have that class with Michael. I've briefly mentioned him before (date last week) and he is the guy I really like that I may be losing interest in because he is still having a hard time finding himself after the mission.
So I haven't played cello for a long time so I tried to worm my way in the back when we were given seats. They started swapping around seats today, and they didn't move me back even though I stink, but they moved Michael right next to me even though he plays the viola! And I swear he was the only person they moved! The funny thing is I would have been able to sit by him in the beginning if I hadn't wormed my way closer to the back in the first place! It's almost as if no matter what I do or how differed our skill levels are, the fates want us to sit together.
I don't know about you, but it seems to me like the fates are on my side.

The Weekly Review

Two weeks into the Semester and this is what the VLC girls have been up to:

Erin: Has had a couple friends over EVERY Saturday at 10 a.m.!! She has been "hanging out with a lot of girls and not a lot of boys; [she] did go to the Latin Festival with a boy, but there was another girl, so that doesn't count."

Katelyn: Went to a Horse Show by herself on Saturday; however, she has been really busy taking care of her injured cousin and working...and trying to cram as much Historical information into her brain as possible, which "leaves very little time for anyone, regardless of gender."

Kylie: Has averaged about two..three...two.five dates a week. She has had two "super duper fun" weeks...she has recently been "trying to figure out stuff with the recently Returned Ones...and just having a blast."

And then there's me.

Lynette: I have been really busy with schoolwork therefore I have had the greatest privilege to observe boys from afar. The. End.

And this concludes the Weekly Review for the VLC.

Awkward Dating Stories Commence!

Our blogging prompt of the week is to write about our most awkward or hilarious date.
I've never had a completely disastrous date, but I must say that senior prom was a little bit awkward. I didn't really care that much about going, except that all my friends were going and I felt like I would regret it if I didn't go. I didn't get asked, so I decided to ask a good friend of mine from another school to go with me.
The night started out okay. We went to dinner with two other couples. Unfortunately, we chose Red Robin as the place to eat. Good restaurant, but not exactly the perfect prom spot. After dinner we walked around the mall, and all the guys started taking pictures with the mannequins. Then they ran out into the parking lot to suitcoat-flash the cars driving by.
Well, I'm not the type of girl who expects to ride in a limo or anything, but my date's ghetto stick-shift truck was a little too much. We pulled up at the fancy location in Seattle and tried to dance in a normal way in the midst of dozens of couples freak-dancing. After about five minutes, I was ready to go.
As we drove back from the dance, we were headed to my friend's house to play games. Unfortunately we both thought we could get back from Seattle based on both of our horrible senses of direction, and we ended up taking the wrong exit and getting lost. It took us about an hour to get to my friend's house.
Now that I reflect, however, I guess my prom date was a little better than another high school dance, when the boys spent the entire time talking about toilets and mooning people. Or that other time when we went lazer-tagging and my date sicked a group of kids on me to gun me down.
Oh, the wonderful world of dating.

Turns out I could use some help after all

It has been 2 weeks since my first entry and my roommates have all informed me that I am shamefully shirking my duties as co-writer on this blog. Therefore, to prevent any further shame from sullying my family name I will now endeavor to scrape what tiny bit of dating experience lies at the bottom of my barrel in order to craft a semi-acceptable entry that will probably end up being the only entry from me for the next month.  Perhaps it is best to inform you now that while I’ve had my own personal blog (the address to which will not be listed here) for three years, I’ve barely managed to write in it any more than three or four times.  I may be a history major, and therefore spend most of my time with my nose buried in someone else's journal, but the ability to write in my own journal on a regular basis has always eluded me. Anyway, enough said about my perpetual lack of interesting things to write; for the sake of placating the wrathful blogging gods, I will write what little I know (and by little, I mean a minuscule amount of foolishness thinly disguised as wisdom). 

I had an interesting experience this past summer with a good guy friend of mine.  I work with this friend (who we will call Hector* for the time being) and I would go so far as to say he’s my favorite co-worker.  Hector and I were working together one day when I accidentally tore my pants on a sharp object and the huge hole it left behind was placed squarely on the left cheek of my bum leaving my brightly colored underwear plenty of room to wave at all passers-by.  I would have been embarrassed in this situation no matter what, but the fact that Hector, a male, was present left me quite mortified.  I spent the next hour trying everything I could think of to keep my shirt pulled down to cover the hole, but every time I bent over (which happens a lot in my line of work)  the shirt would slide back up and my underwear would once again do its best parade wave.  At one point I had the “bright” idea to tuck in my shirt, thinking that my belt would help keep it stabilized.  When that didn’t work and I still had to pull it past the hole every 2 minutes it soon dawned on me that the act of pulling it down made it look like I was pulling out a wedgie which multiplied my embarrassment ten-fold.  Shortly after that uncomfortable realization Hector approached me as nonchalantly as possible and asked, “Would you like to use my jacket?” His manner was so innocent and his question so unexpected that for a moment I had to think to myself, “Why?  Does he think I’m cold, in the middle of the summer when it’s almost 100 deg…OH!”   “Yes please,” I timidly replied, relieved that he had the means to alleviate my suffering.  I tied his jacket around my waist and the work day continued without any further blushing on my part.

I have always been impressed with Hector’s generosity and kindness toward everyone, but I feel particularly grateful for his last act of kindness toward me.  I am glad he had the presence of mind to come up with a solution that was not immediately obvious to me and that he was so gentle in his offer of help avoiding inflicting any further embarrassment.  I mentioned in my first entry that I am a very independent individual and that I struggle with accepting assistance for outside sources. My hard-headed independence can be a major hindrance in the dating world where I have been informed that the best way to catch a man is to show him that you need his help.  I take an immense amount of pride in the fact that I can change my own tires and carry my own groceries and it bothers me when other women suggest that I should let the man help with those things just to help him feel manly.  However, this was one situation when I could not help myself and I was so very grateful for outside help when it was offered.  When I finally find a man who can feel appreciated when I let him help me with things that I truly need help with and not feel upstaged when I want to change my oil by myself, said man will have my undying devotion, and I might even let him do the manly stuff every once in a while just to show my appreciation.   

The One Week Challenge: A Follow Up

So I know you have all been dying to know how the one week challenge panned out. (If you don't know what I'm talking about see "The One Week Challenge" post)
It was pretty overwhelming to think about guys in my ward (church group) in terms of who I like instead of just who is trying to pursue me, but it was a healthy exercise. I had many potential co-chairs, aka every man in the ward. Every time I'd see a cute new boy from our ward I'd think maybe he could be the one.
At first I didn't even think of picking an old ward member because I have only been asked on a few dates in the ward and usually I'm not interested in them so eventually I just gave up on dating in the ward.
But then it dawned on me: what about a guy who HASN'T pursued me?! What about a man who I like even if he hasn't noticed me yet? A novel idea!! And there happens to be such a man in my very ward!! Yes indeed, I didn't realize that I have a crush on a guy in my ward because he hadn't made any moves, so I just plain forgot! I mean, we are friends but nothing has come close to happening.
After I made this realization my best friend (who knew my predicament) came up to me and said "Kylie! Have you thought of asking Dean*?" The very same guy!
So even though he pays less attention to me than he does his favorite bike, I called him to be my co!
It was kind of awkward because he did have another calling so when we were figuring out the callings for the ward at a meeting with the ward leaders in the middle of the meeting the bishop just up and said "Dean, how do you feel about being co-chair with Kylie?" He said "That would be great!" He seemed happy but he STILL barely noticed my existence.
Will Dean always think I'm a rock? Does he just not know girls exist yet? Does he hate me?!?!
Stay tuned to find out.

****names have been changed to protect poor innocent boys

America, God Mend Thine Every Flaw

I know this isn't dating related, but as it is the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on September 11, I thought I should include something about how much I love my country.
This past Independence Day, I was at a lake enjoying a fireworks show. As I looked around, I noticed all kinds of different people: old and young, families and groups of friends, and all different ethnicities. Yet we were all there for the same purpose: to celebrate our country and the blessing we have of freedom. Most Americans, I believe, are generally good. We're all looking out for our families and just trying to do good in whatever way we can.
Because of this, I think it's sad how pessimistic people have been lately about our country. Of course the government is not perfect. Of course the economic situation is less than desirable. But I still believe in the core of America: our trust in God and our belief in the freedom to worship how we desire.
And if we trust in God, He will mend our every flaw.

To Hang Out or Not to Hang Out. That is the Question.

Once upon a time I was a young college student in a carefree world where I could spend my days with guys who I wasn't even interested in with no consequences...or so I thought. I learned the hard way that hanging out too much with the same guy leads to either heartbreak or frustration. Heartbreak because one of you will develop feelings for the other and frustration when I start getting treated like one of the guys. That's the worst.
So where do you draw the line? Because you can't just not hang out either because how else are you supposed to meet guys, and you can't just ALWAYS go on dates right?
Let's examine some CASE STUDIES!

1. This has happened a million times. I have a best friend who is a guy and all we ever do is hang out. Even if I don't like him he takes up all my time and energy and then ends up dating some other girl.
NOT TO HANG OUT

2. The other week one of my guy friends started asking me to hang out all the time. I was so confused because none of them were exactly dates, but I stuck it out anyways to see what would happen. Finally he asked me to come home with him for the weekend. Yikes! I did it but I was in emotional turmoil because I didn't know how he felt about me since he had never asked me out. We had a great weekend (it was like a big giant first date), but he hasn't even called since. I saw him last night with some other girl.
NOT TO HANG OUT

3. I became instant friends with this guy this summer and we started hanging out every day. None of them were real dates and I was starting to really like him. I gave him a couple weeks and he never asked me out. On a Friday night when he asked me to hang out with him and another girl I just kindly and clearly turned him down. That was the end of the hangout fest. He has been stringing another girl along for months now and she is in love. He has not asked her on a date. We are still friends, but I have no emotional attachment.
TO HANG OUT (but only for a couple weeks)

4. Went to hang out with a big group last night, met a cute boy, he got my number.
TO HANG OUT

Well peeps, I don't know if I've figured out the great hang out question yet, but I think I'm on my way! I'm free of emotional attachments anyways and I'm having a ball! Also, I'm hanging out with an awesome guy tonight. Hopefully in this case the answer is TO HANG OUT!